Inappropriate sleeping arrangements for teens

Hi.

My 13 year old son stays with his Dad every other weekend on Friday and Saturday nights.

The house they are in is small so my son sleeps on a blow up bed on the floor of the bedroom of the full time lad who lives there. He is 16. I don''t usually have an issue with this.

During the Easter school holidays, my son stayed with his Dad for a longer period of time. During this time the 16 year old had his girlfriend, who is also 16, to stay over. They slept together in a double bed whilst my son slept in the same room on the blow up.

I''m not comfortable with this for the obvious reasons that there could potentially be intimate or sexual activity between the couple whilst my son is in the room. I''m pretty sure that this hasn''t happened as my son didn''t seem phased by the situation or uncomfortable talking about it at all.

Also, I don''t know this 16 year old girl at all. Surely it is inappropriate for my son to share a bedroom with an older girl, regardless of the relationship with his "step" brother.

Unfortunately it isn''t possible to reason or discuss with my ex. We have an older son now 17 who stopped contact with his Dad last June. His Dad was physically and verbally abusing him. I stopped contact for the youngest at this time in light of the situation, however after 10 weeks youngest started contact again as he hasn''t experienced the same from his Dad.

I''m trying to not let my negative emotions about my ex cloud my judgement. What I want to do in light of this situation is to stop overnight contact. Is this unreasonable?

In an ideal world I know I should be able to talk through with his Dad and trust him when he says it won''t happen again. However, he will carry on doing what he likes and my son will have to remember to keep his mouth shut and not tell me.

Any advice please.

I do not feel this appropriate arrangement either. I would not be at all happy, it doesn''t seem very fair on the other young people either. DIfficult, maybe he should have his dad''s room and dad sleeps on the sofa?

I agree too - I would stop the overnight contact. It must be weird for all 3 of them.

Was this a one-off? I would advise against stopping overnight contact.

Did your son feel uncomfortable? Could he himself not say to his Dad that he would prefer to not share a bedroom with the older lad if his g/f is also staying over?

Surely it would be better if your son slept on the blow up bed in his dad''s bedroom?.
I personally wouldn''t think it''s right or ok to let him share the bedroom with the 16 year old. ..especially as the lad has his gf over.

Sharing a bedroom with another teenage lad for 2 nights out of 14 isn''t such a big issue is it? The issue is that the 16yo''s g/f also stayed over for one night.

Surely if the 13yo slept in the same room as Dad and his new partner, wouldn''t that also also cause issues? I would say that that is far more inappropriate than sharing a 16yo boy''s bedroom.

Have to agree with ruby and op. Nothing wrong with 13 year old boy sharing with 16 year old boy.

Shame you cant suggest to ex, your son sleeps in living room rather than share with 16 year old boy and his gf.

Think stopping overnight contact if boy wasnt unhappy with arrangement isnt appropriate.