Homeless and Broke.....

Hi all...

I left my Wife last July following her telling me of an affair she was having that she had no intention to stop. Had huge battles and had to go to court to get a Contact order. Initially I was paying all of the Mortgage and bills for the house but was forced to stop working due to ill health in October.

I have also been homeless since then and spend time with friends and family. I have daytime contact with the kids 2 weekends out of three when I take them to either of my parents houses or my grandparents who are in their 80's. I struggle to provide food and essentials for myself on the £60 a week ESA I get and so paying for the kids at weekends is really difficult and i have been relying on family help for this but it is now getting to the stage where nearly a year has passed and I can still not make future plans nor weekend plans for the kids.

I am sure that she struggles to on what money she has but seems to be able to afford a babysitter and goes out at least 2 nights a week. She gets Income support, housing benefit, council tax, free school lunches etc aswell as all of the child benefit.

I can't wait to go back to work so I can provide more for the kids and do more with them on Daddy Days but at the moment I actually dread seeing them as I know I am going to struggle all weekend to feed and entertain them. I had a 3 bedroom house lined up through a housing association but she found out and wrote a letter of complaint (which i have not been shown) and the offer was withdrawn.

is there any extra help i can get for the time i have the kids? she gets all the child benefit and i pay £5 a week from my £60 ESA to the CSA.

I think CAB might provide some information for you...
off: I'm wondering HOW on Earth (and why) could you pay morgage to your ex- for so long with no living in the property??? For example my ex-husband managed to kicked me + 2 kids out of his (our "family") house and made us basically homeless.

May i ask how he managed to do that with out an order ?

Biggav am pretty positive there is no extra help out there for you , your ex is the PWC so is entitled to the CB and CTC .

Hi
Take a look here

www.turn2us.org.uk/benefits_search.aspx

Is she still in the FMH, is there any equity in it, if so can she downsize, are you gonna get any of it?

Also can she pay you (maybe half) to baby-sit for the 2 nights she is out, or maybe you even do it for free so to have more time with your kids without the expense.

I think you should be able to see the letter she wrote to the HA under Freedom of Information Act, but depends if you want to. Maybe you need to try again.

There is no equity in the house as such... I never finished the extension due to the separation... I dont want anything from it anyway. I can't spend time at the house as i have tried that in the past... she either brings a bloke home to try and make me jealous or comes on to me when she comes back alone.

Unfortunately I couldnt afford a solicitor when i first left and her legal aid solicitor was all over me with demands... I sold lots of my things and got as much advise as i could afford before taking her to court for contact... HER barrister was actually more help to me than anyone I had paid.

I have been to CABS and they refuse to help me as there is a "conflict of interest" as they have already advised her. so i either have to walk 14 miles to the next nearest office or go without.

I'm looking at turn2us now... Thanks for that!
I was also in the Fire service for 10 years so i'm wondering if the Firefighters charity or Union could help me out....

If i had £450 i would be able to go bankrupt which looks like the only option i have left.

Such a mess. I am sorry to hear about it. There shouldn't be any of this with kids involved. Both parents should be mature enough to put differences aside and do what's best for the kids. Also please never feel bad about providing for them. All they need is their dad and playing with them costs nothing. I grew up with very little materialistic things and I love my parents all the same.

Can i ask you though. How did it go when you couldn't afford a solicitor but she could via LA? I am in the reverse situation but I am hesitant to push that button unless things can't be sorted between us. And at the moment it is starting to look that way.

Thanks.