Maintenance Stopped

With all the alleged criminal records and issues surrounding your ex's ability to care for his own daughter, should he really be caring for someone else's disabled daughter?? Has he been cleared/trained for this type of the work?! I'm shocked!

Wow!!!!! and Hi =)

Yes, I'm shocked too! To help care for a disabled person you must have gone through training and CRB checks.

As for the CSA....... for me they have been fantastic. I logged the claim in 04/06/10 and received my first payment 31/08/10...... backdated to 04/06/10. I never once called, emailed or hassled them..... I had almost given up and accepted and expected not to receive anything.

They have phoned, discussed and agreed everything, and have even sent me a payment schedule and how they worked it out and so on. I was really impressed and am better off now then when I was on our voluntary arrangement, that didn't work as he either paid late, or didn't pay at all.

Perhaps it depends on the area, or the person you deal with, or how compliant your ex is...... idk. What I do know is that they have worked well for me.

I don't know if it's the CSA, or just the fact that my ex isn't replying to them, or sending them any details about how much he earns. If he hasn't, then they can't do much I suppose.

No he hasn't been cleared. He has a "risky adult" marker against hime name. He isn't allowed to work with "children, teenagers or vulnerable adults" and he didn't do a CRB test. If he had it wouldn't have come back clean! I think it's down to the fact he is friends with her dad, and he obviously doesn't care.

My solicitor was told about it, and she said she was going to tell CAFCASS and social services. I don't know if anything happened though.

I'm glad your sol is on it..... it needs to stop.

I reckon you are right about the CSA and your ex. If he isn't co-operating then it makes there job difficult.... although they can access his salary from his National Insurance details and contact his employer. But this takes longer.

On their website is gives you timescales for most eventualities. It might be worth checking and if yours is past that timeframe then call them.

Good Luck!

Sandra x

Your case sounds identical to mine. I was told on numerous occasions that someone was being assigned to it! They also wrote to my ex's employers to get info (info they couldn't disclose to me) this took them ages to do, and I don't trust my Ex or his Company as he is a Director on the fiddle!! The best course of action for me was to go onto CSA website, section to the right "Complaints", click on it and type away - everything (I even complained about a snooty woman who took my call saying "I shouldn't depend on that money" and I said "how do I feed my two children then?"(She is being investigated by the complaints team!), and yes do it every day, make a nuisance of yourself and the beauty of e-mail you haven't got anybody butting in when you are trying to get your point across. They will get sick of you, but it worked for me. Only last week I was appointed my own "Complaints Manager" who was very polite, very understanding and sympathetic. He listed all my grievances and assured me he would deal with them one by one and get back to me within the week, and true to his word he has sorted nearly all of them, one he is going to get back to me on beginning of this week, and I believe he will. He also said if I wanted to ask him anything I wouldn't just be spoken to by one of the muppets who haven't got a clue about your case when you phone up, I was to ask for him personally. He is also looking into some compensation for me for all the stress it has caused me. He has somewhat restored my faith in the CSA! Keep sending those e-mails daily, don't phone cos it is costing you(which you can also claim back so keep the copies of your phone bills and when it's all sorted put your claim in. I know how frustrating it is, my ex has been the most ignorant and annoying person ever, and at the end of the day it is for their children, they see it that we are somehow benefiting out of it. How thick can they be. Good luck and get pestering with those e-mails. x

Angrymama your last few lines made me laugh...... why do our ex's think that the child maintenance they pay is benefiting us?

My ex played all those games until the CSA put a stop to it. He seems to think that because the money is being paid to me...... I am living the life! LMAO!!!!

I wrote a list of how much I spend on food, clothes, shoes, trainers, footie boots, barbers, footie subs, school uniform, bus pass, school trips, school fund....... in one year and divided by 12. The monthly amount was more than the child maintenance and this did not include rent, gas, electric, holidays, birthdays, presents, parties etc.

I get child tax credit so that goes towards the rest.

I gave the list to my ex and explained that this is what it costs me to look after our son. I advised him to check it, and as we had already financially disclosed, suggested he checked the costs against my bank statements.

I asked him if he expected a 12yr old (that's what he was then) to buy his own food, clothing and pay the school etc.... If he thought a 12 yr old could manage it then I was quite happy for him to pay the maintenance directly to our son.

He has never used that one on me since...... but he still stopped paying maintenance regardless.

The only explanation I can find it that this is about control. He has always been a control freak and uses money to control us. But this was never about money for me...... how could he not see that?

Hey Dads out there!!!!!!!! Can you tell us what a man and father is thinking about when he won't/stops paying child maintenance? (In my case it wasn't because he was struggling financially.... not when he earns £60k+ and he lives with his gf in her house).

Thanks!

My ex lives with friends, and therefore pays no rent! He gets all bills paid as he is living there, and all food is provided. He is earning around £700 a month caring for this mans daughter.

He thought that paying me £5 a week was too much.

He doesn't buy anything else either. She had no birthday present or card from him this year. I think that last time he bought her anything was for christmas last year, and it was a toy mobile phone aimed at a 3 month old. She was 17 months old at Christmas!

He wants the fun part, of smiles, cuddles and play time, and none of the responisibility. He doesn't help pay for her, doesn't want to see her if she's ill, and is appalled if she ever cries!