CS Agree what this should cover??

My boyfriend is currently going through divorce with a very unreasonable lady they have two great boys under the age of 10. He is a fantastic dad and alwasy puts the boys interests first - regardless. He has them every tues and weds and every other weekend. So nearly 50/50 and he pays full maintenace for the children. We will buy them clothes and have no issue in ensuring they dont go without when it comes to school trips etc by paying half the cost.

The problem is the mother is being so awkward with everything and reqesting additional money to put towards things we believe should be part of the £600 a month we give her.

These additional requests cover anything from clothes to passport renewal. Whilst its easy for us to say ok for an easy life we are concerned this is going to get out of hand and the monthly amount is not used for what its intended.

So my question is - How can we get a formalised agreement for what is covered in the child maintenance? Our solicitors keep saying we have to agree it amongst ourselves but she wont agree to anything and keeps popping in adhoc requests for standard child support items we believe are covered in teh maintenance...

Please help.....

Is the £600 he is currently paying specifically for child support?

How does this compare to what he would pay under a CSA assessment which is designed to cover the day to day living costs of the children?

Compare the figures and use them as a negotiating tool.

Yes he is paying in line with the CSA guidelines and it is specifically for child support and not to keep her in the manne she is acustomed to - which she agreed to.

As you probably are aware, children are very expensive, always growing out of clothes, school trips, after school activities etc.

My ex pays the standard CSA rates for our children, not a penny less, not a penny more, no pocket money, no assistance with anything whatsoever. Remember also you have the children alot, which will cost you in food, possibly petrol etc.

You are being extremely generous, so I suggest you carry on with what you are doing and ignore requests that you feel to be "taking the mick".

Congratulations on being great parents!

hmmm. Well his only legal obligation is to pay what the CSA states.

Anything above and beyond that he is more than in the right to refuse to pay for.
However you have to balance what is morally right with what is legally correct. School trips I think should be split, as is any sort of sporting costs provided the children are not being put in these activities to reduce his contact time with them.

But there is no 'legal' grounds for what CS has to be used for. If she uses it to pay her electricity bill, or for a shopping spree for her dog, you have no say. BUT she shouldnt be taking the pee.
I pay for things for my children when I have them on my time, clothes and toys (that all stay at mine) and any EXTRA school trips for the kids and my CSA obligation.

what sort of things is she asking for then?

Yes completely agree with all comments. When she moved out of t he house she took all the boys clothes regardless of the fact we have the boys every tues weds and every other weekend. We didnt say anything and replaced the lot, we always pay for everythng when on our time - shopping spree at the weekend topping up the wardrobes and we always go have on anything extra curricular.

Yet she still insists on asking for money for her to buy clothes, passport renewal and other bits and makes out they will go without if he doesnt pay. If he challenges her she will always threaten to make access awkward and not allow them to come on holiday with us and the like. Which is arranged with the boys on mind and not ourselves - as much as I cant wait to have the time away with them and my boyfriend of course

Soon we wont be held to ransom as much as we are currently going through the solicitors but as its on the cards now we dont want to rock the boat and switch her off. Shes made it very clear she will be awkward if things dont go her way... We really are concerned...

Solitors wont change her. Only a contact order or a shared residence order protects their time with their father.

In regards to passports if you take them away then I would agree to go halfs.

Clothes? No this is what CB/CTC is for.

CM is for daily living expenses.

If she is making threats of withdrawing contact over finances then stop communicating through any channel other than in writing and ensure that you are keeping a record of this. Courts do not look fondly on PWC using the children this way.