Payments over and above the csa

Next time she ask remind her that the CM is to cover your share of your daughter expenses when she is with her mother not to pay for all your daughters expenses.

Emotional blackmail don't you just love it. Its always your the one depriving the children!!!

Might start a new thread on emotional blackmail statements the ex uses to get their own way!!

Would be nice if you could perhaps offer to pay half of some of the activities your little girl would like to do? Children, especially girls are very expensive.

uksponger wrote:

How has anyone else tackled this, i have told her that the csa payments are for all of this and the CSA advised me i shouldn't need to pay anymore. She has gone mad and threatened she is going to get her solicitor involved
Help please.

As a parent you need to be able to provide a home for your dtr and allow her the experience of having a father who can take her out occaisionally and buy stuff. So if you can't afford to make additional payments to the ex, don't.

£50 per week to help raise the kid ain't exactly that much money though is it.
That's £6.50 a day.
I don't think anyone should pay beneath £50 per week per kid.
The ex misus has to pay for them the majority of the time and with what things cost it ain't over the top.
I give the harridan £400 a month if i earn more it's £400 per month if i earn less it's £400 per month.No matter how much i have the kids.
I view these things as a moral basis.
I couldn't care less even i did earn £100k she wouldn't get no £20k and when i was on £65 per week jsa she still got £400 that's the deal in my head.
I rule my own world.
All the best
Pete

You have seen most of the advice.
One of the things I told my ex, is that I pay for stuff including clothes etc when they are with me, she tried to get half of swimming money, other money etc from me, but I told her added to the £70+k she had, had, I thought that she had had enough, including the money she squirrelled to her mate over 2 years so that was that.
Also bear in mind that since April last year the benefits disregard what you pay her, so she gets the full amount like you don't exist... My ex gets. Quite a bit extra a month, and that's great, unfortunately the recycle bags for glass are not big enough to hold the extra bottles of smirnoff she gets through in a fortnight...
And I am not joking.

It is hard to draw a line on these things, best thing to remember is that you will have this flack until you have gone through all the experiences, when kids are with me she now hands over party invites, used to try to use that as a reason for the kids not coming, they are going to a party For 2 hours so you can't see them this weekend! Now she hands me the invite and I decide if they can go depending on what we are doing.
Consequently I buy the card and the present too.
When daughter goes away with ex, either me or my partner give her pocket money, you can sure bet that when she goes on holiday with me, she don't get no pocket money coming the other way.

uksponger wrote:

Many thanks Drsox for the re-asurrance.

Sorry but it's the truth. In the end they all try to get the most out of the NRP and that's men and women.

Some say they have a right. I would argue the NRP has the right to sit down and be consulted. It's often the case (as is yours) that you will get a better deal doing it privately anyway.

When you said child maintenance was decided between you do you mean you had an informal arrangement or was it agreed in the Consent Order as part of the overall divorce settlement?