am i in the wrong

the RP cannot dictate what the NRP (or vice versa) can do or cannot do with the children in their time


who said anything about controlling what they were up too, asking about how their day was and what they got up to is not in anyway controlling, asking the children to not to tell anyone what they have been doing is controlling,
why is the rp knowing you went out with your kids for the day such an issue,
wouldnt it be much easier just to say we popped to the shops, went to park had lunch and had a lovely day, instead of im not telling you nothing, ive told the kids to tell you nothing, you have no rights to know what i do with our children all day,,,
seriously,,,, what is the problem!!!!
just try having a grown up convo with the ex, the rp isnt always a control freak, just showing an interest, but it seems the nrp nowdays will always find issues with the rp no matter what,,,

It is wrong for anyone to tell the kids to keep secrets. I think that is clear all round.

But if you don't have a good relationship with ex, then asking a barrage of questions BEFORE the kids go anywhere with him is just being nosey. You can talk with the kids when they get back about what they have done. Simple really!

In 4 years I don't know where my ex lives therefore where the kids are when she takes them. I never know where she takes them.
God forbid if something happened I wouldn't have a clue where they were.
But I bet I would be branded a control freek and a bully if I asked, let alone demanded.

On a personal level my ex had an affair and when she was was out sh***ing lover boy the welfare of her children was last thing on her mind so her taking an interest now is some what rich and has more to do with control than anything else. I get "I'm their mother" and I say "I'm their father" and I am a "part time parent" and I say "so are you" we have 50:50 care. Also her lover moved in a week after I had to leave and but she still has not told me he lives there 2 years on!

No do not ask kids to keep secrets this will back fire and i think NRP might do this because they are so fearful of the RP actions/threats to cut contact, but what you so in your time with them is up to you that the way is goes in divorce, sure kids can tell other parent what they have been up to, I find my ex does an interrogation when they get back and its only the youngest who cracks as the oldest two have sadly realised how these thing blow, my ex will then text me with a critique on my parenting again a little rich as it was my 7 year old who told me that my ex and her bloke sleep together 4 week after I left and 4 month before the divorce and 3 months before she told the kids she was "dating"

Sadly I have learnt when it comes to my ex it's best not to say anything to them, but it may harm my defence if I do not mention when questioned something which I later rely on. Anything I do say may be used against me later.

The reality is that after divorce kids live in 2 disconnected parenting worlds. In time and with age kids figure this out quickly and then become careful of the information they given out when in either camp to limit the potential for hassle, sad but that's the way it goes and that is what works best.

Contact with a parent is a child's right not a gift from the other parent

Here here startagain!!