am i in the wrong

teaching them to keep secrets from either of you is just not fair on them, they need to able to be open and honest with both of you about everything that is going on in their lives: good or bad, without having to worry about either parent's reaction or feelings. (until such time as they decide they want to keep things private from you themselves).

I understand you not wanting to have to report your every move to her, but the children should be free to say whatever they want. It can store up problems wider than the immediate family if they are used to being told to "not tell" their parent something: e.g. if they are bullied at school by other kids or worse. she shouldn't have errupted in front of the children either. I don't think either is a "worse" thing to do, and we all make mistakes, but I try and apologise to the kids soon after when I have thought about something and not do it again. Apparently, making mistakes, owning up to them and apologises teaches them they don't have to be perfect, so I'm clinging onto that hope!

it was wrong to get your kids involved, and also every parent has the right to know where their kids are even while in daddys care, if my ex refused to tell me where he was with my kids he would only ever get supervised visits as i would be concerned as to why it was to be kept secret, its best to be honest and upfront where the kids are concerned

There is no point in running scared of the ex misus.
You have given her ammo to ***** you off by putting the kids in the middle and telling them to keep secrets.
As you can see from the replys on here ex misus have to be in control and have to know any and everything like a grand inquisitor anyways so the kids will always crack under interrogation anyways.
Better not to make the kids keep secrets then if she wants to have a go at you about where you've been if there's nothing illegal in where you went you'll be well and truly within your rights to tell your ex misus to feck off
All the best
Pete

if my ex refused to tell me where he was with my kids he would only ever get supervised visits as i would be concerned as to why it was to be kept secret,

Can I understand you correctly. If you don't get a minute by minute itenary you would only allow supervised visits? If you don't mind me saying that sounds pathetic.
I speak as a single parent my self.

Be nice if my ex took our kids out!

i wouldnt expect min by min, but if i asked where they were going i would expect the truth, no harm in that, its nice to know where they are just for piece of mind, my ex was taking the kids and dumping them round his aunties all day while him and his partner went visiting her family, and when he did take them to his, he had them doing housework at 4 and 5, do you not think as their mother i had no right to ask where their were or what they were doing, my kids dont see there dad anymore his doing not mine, as he beat his girlfriend up infront of his kids and spent 3 months in prison for it, anyway, like i said earlier why keep something so innocent secret, unless you dont want to get along with the ex and enjoy putting strain on your kids.

It seems in most cases that the RP seems to need to know exactly what, where, how, when and why when the kids are with the NRP, but the same courtesy isn't applicable the other way round. As many courts state the RP cannot dictate what the NRP (or vice versa) can do or cannot do with the children in their time. Unless their are health and safety issues leave the other parent to it. You can only be in control of one relationship with the children and that's your relationship. Stop trying to control whats going on in the other household. No RP needs to know eactly where the kids are and what they are doing 24/7. Let them talk about their time and what they have done when they get back. if it's something you don't like, talk about it to your partner.