csa tribunal - self employed deprivation of income

Just got back from cinema and mcdonalds with second daughter. On way home she told me her friends always have money and she doesn't and also she doesn't have many clothes. Now, I am unemployed, but I sell my belongings on a weekly basis on ebay to make sure that my kids have absolutely everything they want. So I don't know what that is all about.

Got home and the youngest who is meant to take the dog out said I should do it and I was lazy. I said thats why she gets her pocket money cos she takes the dog out. She said that all her friends were going on holiday and she wasn't so that wasnt fair. She then demanded I make sure she is up at 10 in the morning as her mobile charger she has left at her friends and then said she wanted a lift to the train station (up the road) at 1 pm tomorrow. I said I was going out. She said that I can't be going out as I have no friends.

Their father doesn't see them and they get no pocket money etc. off him, although the CSA have started getting payments off him. They see none of their paternal family anymore and so its just me.

I feel although i divorced him, because of all the women he has had and the last one who he went to live, he is bitter, but god knows why? He has a good life now, his salary, pension and his woman has a salary as well.

We live on unemployment, child tax credit, his maintenance and some of the interest of my mortgage paid (I have to pay an extra £100) and council tax.

Expect hes laughing his head off, probably watching me from a distance, but hey ho.

Still hurts when kids have a go at me, because the only thing the youngest one hasnt had this year is a holiday, due to me selling most of my possessions. Not many left to sell, so just hope I get a job soon!

It isnt easy when you have all the sleepless nights worrying then get all the answering back from the kids, and the looking after them - when he is sitting pretty not caring less what they are doing. My son didnt answer his mobile for an hour yday - I was passed myself! then when I found him he told me off for overreacting! Yes maybe I was but thats what mums do and as I said to another poster, it will only be when they are older that they will appreciate what we went through to bring them up. Same as us I suppose, I had no idea how hard it was for my parents when I was little, now I do. I would like to say it gets easier but Im not sure it does, they just grow into a different stage and problems change, but one day they will appreciate you. Now try to get some sleep to be able to face tomorrow!!

Watching programme about Amy Whitehouse, very sad. I do my best and always will. Youngest leaves school in 3 years, then Im gonna sell up and travel.

I just wonder how I will support them when they leave school - more of a worry than now really cos wont get any benefits for them and they will be huge strapping men who will still need feeding! But I suppose keeping them loved, safe and warm and fed is what they want now and then so thats what I will do. Now I need sleep too!

I have one daughter at university and she is totally self funding with students loans etc. She is working full time during this summer holiday where her student accommodation and uni is and therefore living in the house share alone, as all the other students have gone to their homes for the summer. To be honest, not a bad thing, because in the past she has spent all the holidays in bed during the day, making a mess and not tidying up and out drinking through the night. She has to work now as I certainly can't help her financially.

Next daughter due to go this year and again the same situation.

Three years before last daughter goes to university and as you say all benefits will stop, i.e child benefit etc. I have 3 years to work out my plan of action!

My plan of action is to find a wealthy man! But then I think can I bothered!!

Blue, I had that idea as well and actually did find a really decent, financially extremely solvent man.

But the thought of having to sleep with him every night for the rest of my life.............................

Like my bed on my own too much!