Consent order Compliance VS Maintenance

Hi There,

This is an odd one for you all and I would really appreciate some advice.
I was divorced 3 years and a Consent Order was put in place that stated that I should pay all of our home loan and child maintenance for my son until he was 18 or left further education. It also states that the home could not be sold until either of these events.

In February of this year and with the full cooperation of my ex our home was put on the market as my son was due to be 18 and finish his education in the summer. The house was sold and the proceeds split as per the consent order 2 weeks before his 18th Birthday but a month after he had finished college.

From start to finish I have always complied with the order, which I'm sure you are already aware from other members, is extremely difficult unless you are Bill Gates.

Imagine my surprise then, as soon as the solicitor had divided up the proceeds from our house sale, when the CSA rang and informed me that my son was continuing his further education and I had to pay another years child support. I was already aware that child support is payable up to 19 but as far as I was concerned our "Clean Break Order" was complete and I could finally move on and begin my life again.

Can I do anything to stop this?
Are Ex Partners able to have there cake and eat it in this way?

Thanks In Advance

Couple of things,

First you cannot have a clean break from your own child, well you can if your very wealthy and could afford to pay a huge lump sum but this is rare, even among the wealthy, so what you will have is a clean break on assets but not the child.

Secondly even if the child is too old for the CSA to deal with the child can make an application to court in their own right if they are still in full time education, the presumption is if the parent can pay the court will order it.

So regardless of the order and its specific wording you will end up paying probably until the completion of the childs first undergraduate degree.

Thanks for your reply dukey.

Please do not misunderstand the tone of my post. I never wanted a clean break from my son. I would dearly love contact and be able to provide support direct to him. My problem with this whole situation is the fact that during the period from marketing our property and its sale, I was assured by my ex that my son was ending his education. With this in mind I was finally able to make financial commitments to personal accommodation and begin living again. Life has been extremely hard since my divorce and thanks to my parents providing a roof over my head I have managed to keep solvent. Reading other members posts I am aware that financial ruin for absent parents is commonplace. I am not a bitter person but I am a fair one. Believe me when I say that it was the same day as she received the settlement from our house sale that she made her claim to the CSA. I on the other hand had to use my money to pay off debts which left me with just enough for a deposit and furnish a small home. At the beginning of our split and in the interests of my Son, I voluntarily left my ex with everything. Over the last three years I have fully funded a joint mortgage and provided financial support without wavering. I am sorry if I sound naive in all this and not that it would have needed to be enforced in my case. I would have thought that if the absent parent is legally required to provide this level of support, then the parent with care would have a legal responsibility to keep them truthfully informed about any changes to the child's financial needs. Thanks to my ex's dishonesty I now face defaults if the CSA pursue me.

if a claim has been made to the CSA, they WILL pursue you so please don't ignore them, hoping they'll go away. They are very slow, very inefficient and not very useful whichever side of the fence you sit on but it does seem to be the case that they get there in the end.

Of course, it is perfectly possible your son has changed his mind and your ex is as fed up about this as you are?

Thanks mumtoboys I really appreciate your comment but what happened to the call from my ex to inform me. Considering the level of support I have kept up it's the least I would have expected.

I do understand my son may have changed his mind but its highly unlikely my ex didn't know in advance of her settlement in July.

Parents usually have a say in whether they can afford things for their kids prior to them happening especially when its going to cost more than the available income you have.

Regards

The CSA normally has jurisdiction over child maintenance for children continuing non advance education (A level standard or less) until 19 years of age. Actually the law has changed to raise this to 20 years, but there has been no implementation yet as far as I'm aware.

Child maintenance can be agreed as part of a consent order and then it is enforceable whilst the order remains effective. In your case the order came to an end so it isn't in effect any longer and it is quite legitimate for child support to be claimed through the CSA.

Thanks Fiona but this still doesn't quite answer the question of how a Parent with care can be allowed to withhold vital information in order to line their purse early.

Our consent order had not ended because my son had quite obviously not finished his further education. It stated quite clearly that we could not sell the property until he had reached the age of 18 or completed his further education whichever was the later.

Is this gain through false pretences/fraud?

Who Knows?

The fact is, this dishonesty will place me in real financial trouble and I find it difficult to believe that an ex spouse can achieve this by hiding behind an adult child.

I would have gladly continued, safe in the knowledge that my son was being supported. I also would have known exactly where I stood financially and wouldn't be in the mess I am now. The house would also be going up in value and I would have paid more off.

I believe a parent has no choice but to support their children but when a child is an adult, it is a fact of life that financial decisions regarding further education have always been a choice or planned for, not a force put.

Someone really needs to get a grip of reality. Maybe then, more absent parents would be more supportive of their ex's and estranged children.