Consent order Compliance VS Maintenance

is it further education - 6th form or local college - or higher education - university?

He may have expected to do badly but is pleasantly surprised with his results? Realised if he does another year he'll be in a better position career wise? Do you know what course he will be studying? Education is usually a good thing and I would try to think of it as a long term thing rather than get caught up in the rights and wrongs of whether mum knew or not.

I appreciate your frustration, particularly as it's made a mess of things for you financially. Financial ruin, however, is far from the domain of non-resident parents. Many parents with care struggle just as much.

Whilst I understand your positive take on this situation mumtoboys I have taken great care over the last three years not to over stretch myself. Of course, I am probably venting here but in this day and age of human rights and tree hugging it seems absurd that absent parents lives are as unimportant and disposable as used toilet paper.


In a round about way, my original question was. Could I do something about my ex's dishonesty and consequential affect on my financial circumstances? It seems from all of your welcome replies that I cannot but I thank you all for your input.

Try and be positive - your son is gaining further education which in this day and age is a good thing. It is pretty hard finding a job out there and the more qualifications the better your options.

It is bizarre that your ex timed things in such a way but these things do happen very quickly - my son's results were not what he expected and we veered from higher education to finding a job to carrying on his holiday job to returning to further education and then finally back to uni as in the first instance and this all in two days. Whatever his decision would have had some impact on his absent father.

I also don't know where you live but in most areas house prices are not gaining in value at all so don't dwell on the fact that you could have made much more money on your house in one or two years compared to now.

Think of you son foremost as you have been and try not to second guess your ex - it never ever works!!

Hi, did your son not talk to you about his plans?

Hi Everyone,

Since yesterday I have found out a little more information. My son was on a 2 year building course which ended in May. Apparently he was persuaded at that time to extend the course into the 3rd year. This means that my ex knew full well that my son was carrying on with his education well before our house was sold.

Don't get me wrong, I am glad that my son is taking some responsibility and thinking ahead. I don't blame him for any of this at all. Knowing his mother, he will be totally unaware of the financial support I have provided over the years.

I know that second guessing is not a clever thing to do but my ex has my number. I asked her enough times if my son was definitely leaving. The last time I spoke to her just before our sale completed in July, I asked how my son was doing and what he planned to do. She told me he was going to find a job.

Considering my ex was fully aware of the terms in our Consent Order. All I can take from my fresh information is. This has been a premeditated way of getting her slice of our equity a year early and a way of screwing me in the process.

Well your ex sounds like a right one but just be thankful you are no longer with her - always a bright side!!

I doubt very much that your son realised your financial input and struggle involved or to that matter the deviousness and underhand tactics of his mother. But that is 18year olds for you - plenty of us wikipeeps have experienced that for all they are delightful young people, most 18year olds live on their own little planet!!

If I were you I would try and put her nasty tricks behind you. And don't forget that now your son is 18 any financial support that you have to provide can be paid DIRECTLY TO HIM!!

I stress again - please try not to dwell on this at least your house has sold!!

I hope you are correct in what you say Blackie. It would be such a relief if I could pay my support straight to him. It has always been a concern to me that my ex hasn't used my support on the things they were meant for.

Obvious things like new cars and 3 holidays a year without my son being some of the tell tale signs.

Due to deliberate poisoning on her part I haven't had any direct contact with my son for nearly 4 years. It would be so great if I could pay him the money direct. He would also know that I never abandoned him.