wants more child maintanence

Can anyone help, Last night when I dropped my son back to my X she told me she wanted more child maintanence, I currently pay £350 p/m, Ive never missed a payment and always on time, I also pay for extra things like football boots school uniform school trips and cloths.
All on top of the CM I pay, Ive checked with the CM calculator on there webiste and it looks like i should be paying an average of £315 £35 less.
I realise Its only a guide and having spoken to the CSA before they use the last 3 payslips which is what I did. THe CM im paying currently was what was included in the divorce and she never said anything.
What should I do what should my next steps be. I dont really want to use the CSA but I might have to now what should I do please help.
ANy help is much appreciated
Thanks

Just tell her no.
All the best
Pete xx

blackops, hi, as pete says tell her no, if fact I wouldnt even say that much.
If you are sure in your calcs what you pay is correct then be settled with that, you must be a decent earner to pay that for one child so she is lucky.
For 1 child you pay 15% of your net pay, that is what you take home after tax NI AND pension are deducted also work out how many nights a year you have overnights and there is a calc for taking 1/7ths off.
I think if its 52 to 104 its 1/7th off, which is the norm.
She is also fortunate in that you pay for the extras.
I would say that she is looking towards xmas and is trying it on to see if she can get some more cash from you.

Only you know how to respond, it isnt you that would need to go to the CSA, its her, if she ever threatens it you of course know that she would get less, in a lot of cases the extras would stop too.
As I say only you nkow how to respond as its difficult to portray how things how between you in some text here, if things are not so good, about all you say is, 'you are getting above what you would by other means, its as much as I can afford, given I pay for x, y and z when the boy is with me.'

Leave it at that then. You dont have to worry, she is simply trying it on with you.

Tell her no. If she keeps pushing, casually mention that you're paying above the CSA recommended rate as it is, and are more than happy to start using the CSA if that helps everyone to know where they stand. She'll not mention it again once she realises that she stands to lose money.

hello. have been in similar position. it's all about boundaries. if it was agreed in your divorce settlement and she has been happy with it so far, then there's not much to say. maybe you could point out that if it went to the CSA there would definitely be a delay. when we spoke to the CSA there was alot of ambiguity as to ocassional overtime payment/bonuses etc so really best to avoid if you can.
i know this situation is terribly difficult. dads find it hard to put (and maintain) boundaries to ex's as they have the child as a lever. i would suggest, as this worked for us, that you write a calm and purely factual email, detailing that you have spoken to the CSA and have been advised that your current payments are more than necessary. also, that you have (kindly) not knocked off the 1/7th or 2/7ths for amount of days your son spends with you. maybe add in that you are still happy to pay for extras, if agreed in advance. and you could offer a rise in line with inflation in january every year as a sweetener?
but also, note that maintenance payments include money for clothes etc. we now only pay for extras such as out of school activities. i think sometimes what happens is that the ex wife still lives in the same way and thinks her lifestyle shouldn't change. you are not there to fund her life but to make provision for your son - and you are doing exactly that.
i really hope this helps. it's so annoying when ex wife's are so selfish and money grabbing. make the boundaries, put them in place and stick to them. of course she will try to push you on them. but it's just like sorting out the kid's bedtime - stick to your guns. being clear about things does actually make it easier for all concerned in the long run and more importantly, stops her making a mug out of you.
hope this was helpful

"she is fortunate you pay for the extras", "it's shame ex's are so money grabbing".

Jeez Louise - YOUR CHILD is lucky you pay for the extras not your ex. It's possible and probable he would not be doing the extra-cirricular without you paying and maybe she is strugling. We don't know the situation so stop judging her.

CM is a CONTRIBUTION to the raising of the child based on your salary not the Absolute cost. She asked - you can say no if you can't afford it but don't turn this into an excuse to bash the woman! And certainly don't tell her how you KINDLY don't knock off the 1/7th etc., it makes you sound like a jerk! If you can't afford it/don't want to pay it just say no like Pete's says. Don't patronise her with the rest of it.

GMS

Hi ANd thanks very much for the advice. Ill take it all under advice I just wanted to guage all opinions.
I certainly dont judge her but she just demands every now and thenand she has just bought another car and she has just recently had 1 bedroom and the bathroom and the front fence completly replaced so im not quite sure how she does it and pays the reduced mortgage as its interest only to help keep costs down when we initially split how is it she can do all that. ai dont have ago or ask her about it she refuses to talk to me so its difficult to sort anything out anyway.
I realsie its difficult for and we both struggle im bankrupt and she is now in an IVA, I just want to make sure im paying the right amount and I think i am and i really dont want to use the csa anyway but i just keep it in the back ground.
I just dont want to see my son go without and i think im doing the right thing??
I really appreciate all your help and advise you gave but i did think and was told by my solicitor that all the financial side is sorted out between the nisci and the Absolute being granted and when this didnt happen it through me a bit but realise i do care about them all still even through this I just want to do the right thing
Thanks again