Changing daughters surname

www.wikivorce.com/divorce/Divorce-Forum/...-contact.html#146706

In view of the fact your ex is already taking you to court for a contact order do you really want to give him further ammunition and annoy the judge to boot?

Changing a childs name will be the right way about it and on the bottom of my contact order it states clearly that the childs name should not be changed without consent.

T

I haven't had papers served on me by my ex yet. It is all just threats at the minute. The last I heard of him taking me to court, was back in the beggining of september.

We already use my partners surname for my daughter, we have done for a little while now, it just hasn't been officially changed. So her name is the same as my partners at the docters, with the childminder, in her red book, and pretty much anything else, apart from things that need legal documentation, such as her bank account, and her passport.

I understand what you mean, but when I get married, I want to take on my partners name. So if i leave my daughters name as my current name, when I marry, she won't have the same name as me, my partner, or my ex, which can be confusing for a child.

Why on earth if you are not even married yet are you already using your new partners name for your child?

The time line for your ex is a month and you really think he won't do it?

God help your child if you and your new partner split up before the weddings even taken place. They won't know who or what they are at this rate.

T

I am using my new partners name, as he is more of a dad to my daughter than my ex will ever be.
My daughter calls my partner dad, and my ex is just known by his first name.
Like i said before, me and my partner have been together for almost 2 years (1 year and 9 months to be exact) and we were together well before my daughter was even born.
Me and my partner do plan on marrying in 2012. It's not an offical date as of yet though.
My ex dissapeared off the scene when i was 6 weeks pregnant, and wanted nothing more to do with my daughter untill she was 9 months old. He saw her once a week untill August when he stopped coming. He now says he is going to take me to court as he says i stopped him coming.
I want me, my daughter and my partner to be a proper family, and I know that my ex will never be out of mine or my daughters life, but a name change is a small step towards being that proper family for me and my partner.

Did he actually stop coming or is it just a case (because everything you have said so far supports this) that you had the hump with him and wanted your new perfect family.

Mummy, baby and new daddy?

Last bit to sort out is a name change followed by marriage by the looks of it.

Obviously a spanner in the works will be if you're served court papers for contact and cafcass/court then find out you're already calling a child by a new name when the marriage won't happen for 3 years yet.

I used to be sympathetic towards what was happening with you but this latest thread and the name change no matter what has exhausted it with me.

T

I have just read the Madaboutcars thread which DivorceLawyer recommended; thanks DL, it is interesting and very heartening. I would advise AnnoyedMummy to read it too; it might save you some money!

The thing is, in madaboutcars case, he was still seeing his child. He was having contact, my ex isn't. Madaboutcars was involved in his childs life, and was seeing them on a regular basis. He therefore was able to contest the name change. My ex isn't in my daughters life.

nbm1708 yes he did just stop turning up. I had a 1st birthday party for my little girl, and invited my ex even though it wasn't his day to see her. He came no problem. The week after on his day to see her, he text me 10 minutes before the session telling me he had swine flu and wasn't coming round. I text him back asking to tell me earlier next time, and asked him to contribute towards a new pushchair (at this time he wasn't paying me any money). He ignored me so I rang him and asked again. He said no, but that he was getting money in two weeks time, and would ring me then.
I haven't heard from him since. It was him that stopped coming. I never told him he couldn't.