21 years ago

So 21 years ago tomorrow was our first date, in fact not sure a weekend away as friends really is classed as a date but hey. We drove to Dover and got the Calais in a beautiful old car. I could even tell you everything about the whole day, from what he was wearing, what we ate, what we talked about. We talked all night about everything and anything. The following day on the way back home he asked me to go home with him and that was it I moved in! So mad but it lasted 20 years until last year he told me he had someone else and in his exact words, that he didn''t need me anymore.
So the year so far has been a roller coaster of a few highs and a great many lows. He lives abroad with her so it''s great that I will never bump into him. We don''t speak except through email, sometihng I find sad but he has changed so much that I can''t bear him to talk to me.
Just heard he will be over at the end of June for a weekend to see the kids. They of course are excited me, I''m panicking, I feel sick and I''m trying to find ways of not having to see him.
So tomorrow will be tough, probably more so as I know it won''t even cross his mind as to what the day is. But hey he is a man so what do I expect.
Time I think to put my thoughts and memories away and concentrate on my future and the future of the two most precious things in my life, my amazing kids.

Just want to give you a big hug ((((()))))

On special anniversaries, those beautiful memories you mention in your blog come flooding in and the emotions they release can be upsetting. It''s important not to get stuck in that inbetween stage of looking backwards whilst trying to look forwards.

Keep those wonderfully positive thoughts about your girls at the forefront of your mind as you keep moving forward. Next year the day will probably go by unnoticed.

Find something you''ll be extremely busy doing for his visit. Don''t allow it to derail your progress, you''re doing so well.

When, someday soon, you emerge from all this grief, you will see that the universe did not stop as you nursed your broken heart. You’ll emerge on the other side, stronger for all you have been through.

More hugs. xx

Cwtchs from me also (((())))

I agree with Mitch,keep those memories and give them some kind remembrance,We all have good memories,they are part of us,they help make us who we now are. No matter what has happened I still have some wonderful memories of our life together.
Although memories are made all the time,so make your new ones,they all go to make you !!!

Like yourself I can still remember our first date,it was on my birthday,so I will always remember that one.

Some people forget the wedding anniversary,I will never forget,it''s Xmas Eve,so hard to forget lol,although now it does not hurt as much as it did.

I never have to check the calender for my signifcant dates,except for the date my divorce was finalised,and for that day ???
My memory...Sat by a pool in the sun,with a very dear friend and creating a new memory..

Lymm,every day is a new beginning,a new chance go create some wonderful memories with your little family.

Cwtchs
Afon Xxx

Thinking of you x

Its 16 years for me this weekend im working to keep myself busy.

Daisy

Well epic fail on making it through. Work was so so busy so got through ok but I on way home I just started crying and now I can''t stop. Is it pathetic to say in sitting in my bed and it''s where I intend to stay.
This weekend is also the weekend last year that I flew to America and back after I found out about his first affair. We sat we talked and he swore it was the biggest mistake he ever made and we could move on and make it work. Little did I know he was already seeing someone else!
So really it''s just another first anniversary isn''t it.
I will get there, I just wish I wasn''t so good at remembering all the important dates in life. Thank you everyone for all the support.x

Let the tears flow for a while and then remind yourself that there is life after this marriage

One year isn''t actually a long time for coming to terms with suddenly being on your own to deal with issues such as money, pressure from your ex to sell the FMH, children, a career change and facing downsizing the family home. These things coming all at once can be overwhelming.

As hard as it is to believe right now, one day this marriage will just be something you did once. You''ll go on and you''ll have what you create and it will be awesome. xx