Lower lows

Moona, I think that we have all missed out on the massive here,and that is,your all still together. I am sorry but I no longer live in the world wearing rose coloured spectacles,I have been let down by too many for that,so I can be honest and say to you,you will have to go through some more lows when they move out.
Then though,your healing can begin...

All of this though is in your timescale,never mind what others say,this is your story your pain,and this will become your recovery also.We can all offer you advice based on things we done,but we are individuals and your recovery will be individual to yourself,but yet again,this is all in time.....

I am not going to insult your intelligence, because your an intelligent person,and you know that in the course of time,these feelings will lessen,but I reiterate the worst time is still to come,and that is the time you will have to batten down the hatches and go in a self protection mode,whilst still being that loving Dad that you are.

If only there was a magic solution to deal with this angst,but there is not,and we unfortunately have to endure pain and the lows before we attempt our healing process, but believe me,you will survive,and you will take many lessons from it,and those lessons will stand you in good stead for your future....

Moona all I can send is virtual cwtchs ((()))
and an acknowledgement that we know how your feeling, and just to let you know..we care..

Take care and stay strong
Afon Xx

Dear moona,

Stop it right now! Let me tell you I was there and contemplated suicide as the pain was almost unbearable. Almost physical. What''s the b....y use? Absolutely nothing. InsteD of allowing myself to wallow in that negative bitter taste I now tell myself it happened why it happened I don''t know, it just did but I''m not going to make myself sick for the rest of my life I have a life to live and I''m damned well plan to live what''s left of it well and happy. I once thought how dare this person cause me so much unhappiness but he did and I''m not going to go on for the rest of my life crying about what he''s done on the contrary I''ve kicked him out of my life and almost out of my mind as we still have the divorce to go through. Please please shake yourself out of this melancholic state and look out there''s a whole world out there, there will be someone you will love again, hold to this thought moona, listen to music stand tall and put your best foot forward, we are all with you we know how you feel and I for one am willing you to heal quick.

Everyone,

You all so right. I will be fine.....I am just hitting such sadness just now.

When I am disciplined mentally I can get on top of this stuff but sometimes it is just so much effort that it seems I need to just relax and feel some of the emotion and sadness full on.

Just back from the gym now and feeling knackered but good.

Wiki really helps although sometimes I think am I spending too much time on here resulting in me thiking about things too much? It seems to help though and everyone is so supportive.

I thank you all so much.

M.

BRILLIANT absolutely brilliant

Hi Moona

Just wanted to reply to your comment regarding spending too much time on Wiki. I spent hours and hours on here but I know it helped me to really understand and work through my situation and so was time well spent and in later stages meant I had an outlet which meant that I could function socially or at work without constantly going over what had happened. Now I probably look in daily, really feel for those just starting out and amaze myself at how far I have come. Best wishes.

You are all brilliant x

I agree with AngieP, I am also amazed at how far I have come. I know that I would not have got here without the support of some very wise and compassionate wikis. Wiki was my life line and I learned from them the golden rule of no contact with my ex. Prior to this I was a text terrorist, I kid you not.

AngieP is a dear friend of mine, some one I would never have met had it not been for wiki. We met up when we can and I marvel at how much we have both grown. I think she would agree that our early conversations consisted of our ex''s and wiki and very little else. We rarely mention our ex''s these days and our focus is on our life''s currently and how we are doing. Progress indeed.

The other thing that I think you should do is stay with the emotions that you are feeling. I know it''s hard, it can feel like your wallowing in it a bit but once I understood the need to explore these feelings the better I got. I did use a counsellor to help who was absolutely wonderful and would recommend him in a heart beat. If you don''t process the emotions they will manifest themselves somewhere else. I once asked my ex how in the name of God he remained so unemotional. He replied " I just push it all down" of course now I understand completely that this isn''t dealing with it. It''s suppressing it and now when I think of his violent outburst I get it. All that unanswered baggage that he pushes down means some poor unsuspecting victim has to suffer the back lash of all that.

It isn''t an easy thing to do and I get why some people don''t address it but it was worth the agony and now I see things clearer than I ever have before.

Exercise is really good for you and especially now.

Take care

LG xXx