Mortgage Worries

WEll, if your ex doesnt want the house repossessedthen its in her interest to come up with the payment.

If she feels that she doesnt have sufficient income to do so then she needs to negotiate with you or apply for Maintenence Pending Suit.

In my case I had no choice I had to stop. My ex stumped up the payments but only when she was forced to.

For me it would be a risk I would take mate.

Hi Popoliv

You are in a dilema, i would suggest speaking with citizens advice bureau about how easy it is for a bank to reposses a house with kids living in it, i'm not sure its as easy or as quick as the bank would like you to think it is, the bank want you to think they can do it overnight but it may not be the case and they wont admit how difficult it may be, this gives you a steadier understanding of timescales from an informed impartial source. You have to live a life as well and if you cant finance both then you will both need to make adjustments (downgrades) in your standard of living (i dont mean totally finance both but what you are liable for CSA etc). Regards your credit report, it is likely to take a hit and there is little you can do to stop it, you havent suddenly earnt more money and yet you are financing two seperate lives,you are going to have difficulties with money, however being better informed and therefore prepared can help you minimise it. Have you started divorce, your wife living without a grasp of the difficulties is unrealistic, if the house goes what does she do,she needs to realise her life is changing as well and prepare for it, to me it sounds like you are willing to support your wife as required but dont have unlimited resources so she should work with what there is to work with, there are many on here that never had that chance so she should take it for what it is
Take care
Space

Just a quick upate.

I have spoken to the Nationwide who advise me that they are willing to put the mortgage on an interest only basis for an intial 3 month period. This would bring the payment down to a manageable level of £282 per month.
They also advise me that exyend the loan up to 35 years bringing the monthly payment down to around £400 per month based on current interest rates.
However I'm still in a dilema regarding the house sale. Do I suggest to the stbx that she could cover the extended term mortgage using this option and therefore being able to stay in the house? I know that this would be best for the kids but not for me.
Shoud I ask stbx to pay half the interest only for 3 months ie £141? She does receive child maintenance of £330 per month so she should be able to.
Why do I feel so guilty regarding the house sale and uprooting my girls?
God this is so tough..

You feel guilty because you have done some research, come up with a reasonable option, but you know that your stbx probably won't like it and you will be left in the unknown again.
It is generally the case unfortunately, they see it as a kind of control I suppose and they resist this as much as they can.
Generally in my experience and posts on here the stbx's generally try to stay in the current situation as long as they can, it's almost like they want you out but want as much finicial support as they can get and remain where they know a roof isnover their headsbbefore they have to support themselves to a certain extent.
My ex certainly was like this and thought she was going tonkeep it going perhaps for years, I believe if I hadn't kept the ball rolling I would still be in rented paying mortgage too and other bills.

I would say that you're feeling guilty because you're clearly a decent guy trying to do the right thing by his children. I am surprised that Nationwide has been so awkward - my fiancé's ex approached them 2 years ago to switch to an interest only and they agreed no problem. The mortgage amounted to slightly less than a quarter of her monthly income but she claimed she couldn't pay it and they accepted it. She is still on this rate - we know this as my fiancé is still on the mortgage (in the form of a mesher).
I think you are being very decent in paying the interest at the moment plus full CM. I would suggest you contact the CSA; they consider mortgage payments to form part of any CM. That way you can make it clear to your ex that you are contributing to the children and that any extra you currently give is because you are a nice guy and want to. I would also suggest that you get the financial settlement started. Like bobbinalong, my fiancé's ex clearly thought that she could continue in the same vein for ever. Her trump card every time was the children and it didn't matter that he was paying their joint debt, housing himself, giving her way above CSA levels for the first 2 years.
You have the right to a home, a bit of spare cash to spend on your kids and a car - if the car goes, so will your job and therefore her CM payments! Nothing will change unless you start to toughen up a bit - its not nice, its not pleasant but in a years' time it will be sorted and you will be so glad you did it!!

Nationwide have now denied that the person I spoke to offered me interest only in February! They accept that my financial situation hasn't changed and that I can't afford repayments but require my stbx give them a breakdown of her finances to prove she cant cover it.
So far she has refused to engage with them despite emails from me and a letter to her sol from mine.
As far as Nationwide are concerned they can't get involved in marital disputes. The mortgage is taken from my account so I am stuffed!
Should I just write to them and tell them the situation so at least I have some evidence that I have tried to at least resolve this?
Half of mortgage is £310 a month , CM is £330 , all of mortgage is £625!

i think you need to realise that her working tax credits and child maintenance off the government and her part time pay will probably be racking up to about £1800 a montyh in her pocket.
Stop being a mug.You are entitled to change the mortgage to interest only tell them that is what is required.If your wife kicks off tell her it's that or nothing and you'll pay nothing until divorced and enforced by the csa.You're never gonna see any of this £600 a month back what you're paying on the mortgage.She'll do the normal woman thing and want all the house equity anyways.
She ain't even coming across with the kids you really do need to toughen right up.Don't let em use the kids to blackmail you.
All the best
Pete xx