Mortgage Worries

I seperated from wife in June and since that time have lived in an rental property and soley paid the mortgage on the marital home in full. I haven't wanted to disrupt the children even more.

As you can appreciate the financial burden has been great. My income is £1920 per month and mortgage is £640 and rent £800. This doesnt include the council tax on the rental property!. All during this time my wife has expected me to pay the mortgage in full and has made no contributions. Her argument is that she only works part time and that she is entitled to stay in the family home.

Since December I succesfully negotiated a payment holday with the Nationwide for 3 months, this has enabled me some breathing space. At the end of this time I am at a loss of what to do. I obviously don't want to fall into arrears and have explained the position to Nationwide but they simply don't want to know.

Since the seperation I have also had to pay increasing solicitor costs. It is only through family financial help that I have been able to do so.

I have my first mediation meeting monday and need this situation addressed urgently. My wife is now seeking half divorce costs and I have to find£3700 fot the final value on my car in June. Getting worried now.

Hi, I was similar to you, you will find that you are not required to pay the mortgage if you dont live there.
Now this carries certain risks etc if you want to take them.
If you are no longer living in the property, you dont have to pay, especially if you are renting.
It does put your credit rating at risk depending on what happens to the house, but that depends what you intend to do in the future.
I take it that you are not paying CM if you are paying mortgage.
Dont take any notice of what your ex says regards the house,
"Her argument is that she only works part time and that she is entitled to stay in the family home."
Yeah, so what, its an argument and thats that, if she cant afford to keep the house long term something else will have to happen, even in a mesher she will have to pay the mortgage.
She will be happy to carry on this arrangement for as long you pay out my friend, she is living free.
You need to decide what you are to do long term.
You could! stop the mortgage and just pay CM that would help you.
Your a similar earner to me so you would be paying around £300 CM this would help you financially.
Your rental place might be £800 but I know the expense of running a house is probably double that.
It is a hard decision to make to stop paying the mortgage, it is one i took on advice, it will certainly make her sit up and do something, at present, she is sitting and grinning.

I phoned the mortgage company at the time, I told them that I no longer lived there and couldnt afford to pay, they didnt like it but there is not much they can do, only a court can order you to pay, but they would not on a long term basis anyhow.
You will find she will pay her divorce costs and you pay yours, especially if shes working, you need to make sure you are not ordered to pay hers.

Has your wife claimed Tax Credits as a single mum do you know? If she hasn't, she needs to as this should have a positive impact on her income. You know how much she earns in comparison to you - it is possible for her to pay her bills and the mortgage? That's the first thing to think about. You can check her benefit entitlement on www.entitledto.co.uk although it is a calculator that is renound for getting things a bit 'off'. It will give you an idea, however.

Whilst it may well be the case that she gets to stay in the house, you are also entitled to a bit of a life and she will have to get used to the idea that she can no long live as she did as a married woman. It's a hard thing to come to terms with and hopefully mediation will help with this as a mediator will give her a nudge that way! Don't feel guilty about it.

Obviously, you could stop paying half the mortgage (or indeed, all of it) but you'll only end up with your credit in a mess and that will impact on both your abilities to move on. I don't advise this route (my ex took it - it has caused no end of problems for both of us). Try at mediation to come to an agreement on half the mortgage or at least a reduced amount for the time being.

Hope that helps a bit.

Thanks for the conflicting replies.

Yes my wife does receive CTC and Council Tax benefit.

I have not been paying maintenance just the mortgage. My wife has even told everyone that I have made no contributions for the kids, she simply cant see that I have paid mortgage instead.

Hopefully mediator will help her see some sense.

mmm i dont really see that advice as conflicting at all so not sure what you are on a bout there.

anyway what bobbin says is true and as you are not living there she is enjoying sole use of the property therefore she should be paying for at least half of it...some would aregue that she should be paying it all and this is refered to as occupational rent.

Thanks eyes on the horizon for your reply. Apologies to the previous posters for the conflicting remark, I typed the reply quickly on my phone so my choice of wording was not thought through enough before I posted. Both replies were helpful.

Well one month one and not much progress re mortgage.

Seriously getting worried about the mortgage payments now.

Up until December I have been paying mortgage on FMH plus my own rent and bills. I negotiated a payment holiday for 3 months, which helped but its due to end this month then the mortgage payments will start again.
I just dont know where I will find the cash. In June my car loan needs to be settled ( £3750 ) otherwise I have to give it back. I just don't have it and need a car to get to work.
I have spoken to Nationwide and told them the situation but they were useless only stating that we are both liable and that we have enough income between us to cover the loan ( mortgage £650 a month with discount ). How they came to this decision is beyond me.

The mortgage comes from my bank account and stbx just refuses top grasp the seriousness of the situation and makes no contribution. She still wants child maintenance as well. In fact I have had texts from her that she is 'sitting pretty'.

Don't want to default as have two young kids and dont want to effect my credit but getting nowhere fast. My solicitor advice is just not to pay mortgage if I can't afford it so house reposssed. Can't belive Nationwide would want this.