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Hi Krys

Sorry to hear of what you have been through, it stinks doesn't it? Women who try to steal other womens' husbands/partners are bad news. They can try to pass it off in their own heads as 'well he did this or that part of the game' (ie drinks etc), but the truth of it is, they must have wanted the next stage to try to take it further, regardless of what the men wanted.

There are women who become infatuated and take their own thoughts as real, when the stuation actually isn't how they see it.

That is when they become potential 'bunny boilers'. Striving to get what they want against all odds.

I am sure there are men that do that to by the way, 'tis not gender specific.

Those pictures in your mind about them, if you want to move forward wih your husband, then push them to the back burner. I reckon moving forward is to leave her out of your future mentally.

The only time a person should ever need to bring the past to the fore is if they had the same/similar situations to deal with, reflection is how we work out how to handle the present and possibly the future.

Remorse is not what we say it is what we do, saying remorseful words to others is one thing, but true remorse is acting out the promises we make to ourselves.

If your husband has nothing to hide and he cares about you, it shouldn't hard for him to figure out how to demonstrate that to you.

As lizzy and Claymic have said what you choose to do is your call.

Take care
79fw
x

Krystaltips

We've all been wondering about how you are.

I am so sorry, this latest revalation must be a very hurtful betrayal.

Please come and talk to us in chat and keep in contact with your GP.

Krytaltips

please do not give up, I understand how hard this is for you - been through it myself. You feel so many different emotions right now ranging from anger, disbelief, shock, insulted, etc etc and oh so very hurt.

Believe me when I say, you can get through this, there is help and people on here care about YOU. As Nell suggests, please go into chat, blog, keep posting. You are the important one, not stbx, or his OW - You and you alone are the one that we wikipeeps care about.

PM me if you wish, read my posts/blogs if it helps. Allow us to help you.

best wishes xx

krystaltips I too know those violent raging feelings they are horrendous , have lost count of the number of murderous scenarios that came to my mind when going through similar, you have a b..y difficult road ahead, most on here though have been through it. Im 9 months on now and still get the odd surge of fury at destruction of trust , my family and loss of my home and familiar life but there is light at the end of the tunnel and now I am experience a curious but unfamilar sense of freedom. Stuff him, think about you, you are obviously a loyal and passionate woman. We are all here for you. Cyber hugs and would send you all the strength in the world. Rhi.

(((Krystal)))

Deep breaths honey, deep breaths.

Where are you now with this situation? Is he still living at home?
What has been said? Don't stop talking to us Krystal, keep posting, whatever it is, it will help to get it all out.

Don't worry about him at all, now is the time to think about what YOU want. He has done what he has wanted to do for the last 2 years, start thinking about yourself.

We're all here for you if you need us.

Be kind to yourself

xxx

Dear Krystaltips,

I've just caught up with your thread.

You have my heartfelt sympathy mainly because I know exactly how you are feeling. I have walked in your shoes.

You must keep in touch with us and post or even just lurk, you must look after yourself and go to your GP if you feel the need, or even if you feel you just aren't coping.

I remember feeling like my world had imploded and that everything that I thought was good and true was a lie........

It helps if you can get the focus off your husband and onto you. I journalled, talked to friends, went to counselling and jogged for miles. When I felt able to I read all the relationship sites that were going...I wavered constantly between anger/betrayal, hopelessness, anxiety and fear.

This is all normal, you must allow yourself to feel these emotions and not try to shut it down, it's a process. It does get better, it really does get better.

One thing I wish I had done earlier was to go and visit a solicitor to find out my legal position. It didn't mean I had to do anything about it but that I knew what my options were.

There is nothing you can do about the choices your husband has made. It took me a long time to learn that. But, he is also responsible for the choices he has made - the hurt he has caused, the deceit, the lies, the blame- they all belong to him.

Something I tried to do throughout this is to keep my integrity intact. I'm glad I managed to do that and now I'm stronger and able to do what I must with my head held high and I know that there is a better future waiting for me.

Please believe that you will make it through this.....