Hello from Northernmick

My wife has just left me and I am really down - Can't eat drink or sleep. How are you supposed to cope?

I am a youth worker and run a club in London. I own a lovely House in Houghton Regis Bedfordshire which I hope I will be able to keep. I am normally a very chirpy kind of person and very outgoing but this has devestated me.

Hi Mick

Sorry to hear about your circumstances. Like with any situation there is no hard and fast way that you cope as everybody is different. Time does ease things but for the moment just take it day by day doing everything you would normally do as much as possible. Also try and take some time out with friends or doing a hobby because if you stay at home you will be just "thinking" all the time.

It isn't easy for both parties in seperation but it usually affects one more than the other.

I wish you good luck but come back on here if you need to, there are plenty of people on here who can at least offer support.

Hi,
I really feel for you, the next few weeks will be a real roller coaster ride, I don't know if this was a shock for you, but if it was you might be in shock for a little while. Try and eat a little but often, I know I lived on tomato soup and bananas for the first two weeks. Every day you will feel different, sometimes even by the hour, try and take care of yourselfand talk to sypathetice family and friends, talking it out can really help. This site is very helpful and people are very supportive, keep writing an you will get supportive replies from people that have been through similar. Nasus

welcome to Wikivorce

Everyone finds their own way to cope.

Firstly, try to eat, even if its only soup and bananas which are easy to get down. You can't cope well if you aren't properly nourished.

I coped by:
crying a small ocean,
going on anti-depressants,
seeing a counsellor once a week for 9 months,
contacting all my friends and meeting up with them if possible,
accepting any invitations whether I wanted to go or not
planning so that I always had something to look forward to
joined a book club
joined a film club
rearranged the furniture
read self-help books
joined this site and visited chat room here most nights
etc

Time helps, but separation/divorce is like bereavement and there are no short cuts in the pain, sadly.

I can say now, nearly 10 months since my ex of 31 years left me that I feel fantastic!

Hi NMick

Welcome to Wiki, most of us here have been where you are now, so you are in the right place for support and guidance.

Here is a Wiki virtual-hug for you >>>((((((((NMick))))))))

It may not feel like it right now, but it doesn't stay the same forever, as people on here have and will kindly tell you.

I reckon that is why we say we are 'going through a seperation or divorce', because that is what it is, we go through and come out the other side.

It's quite normal to not want to eat at first, it is just the shock and it does wear off. I ate ice cream to get my appetite back, so whatever you can manage and when, is a start.

Feel free to pop into chat, someone is usually in there and everyone understands what you are going through, because they are going through the same or similar. You can just observe until you feel comfortable to join in, no one will mind

Take care
79fw

Hi Mick

Welcome to wiki. If only there was a quick fix solution but sadly there isn't. It seems unbearable right now for you as you are still in shock. For me the first few weeks are now a bit of a haze I don't think I slept for days, even weeks and the thought of eating was such a struggle. But you have to find a way to get through each day, try to eat small amounts and rest when you can, if you are not sleeping you will soon become exhausted. If you have family or friends to can talk to then turn to them. If not come into wiki there is always someone who will chat to you. You are not alone here we understand and know what you are feeling and it does get easier but for now just take small steps and be kind to yourself.

Love

Poppie x

Thanks for your support - It was totally out of the blue and that's probably waht is hurting me the most