How do I get strong enough not to keep calling

Lorrae wrote:

It has been 5 weeks now, and feeling a little stronger, my husband has not phoned at all, and I have not called him. Still getting days when I just wondered what I have done wrong, but I am coping a little better.

When he came to collect his clothes and Lambertta Scotter (which we had only just bought) he said he was not taking anything thing else, however I have loads of his things, and I just do not know how to handle him collecting them, and seeing him, as its still so painful. I know he is now with someone else, and so he is just to busy to contact me, but I feel until he collects all his stuff, I can close the door. I still love him but he has hurt me so badly, that I could never take him back. Still confused over it all.

Hi Lorrae. You have done the right thing. And good for you for not contacting him. The reason you feel better is becuase you have not contacted him. Every time you dial the number it chips away at you and makes you less strong. Keep it up and day by day you will get stronger. And one day you can just chuck his stuff in the bin. And not say anything to him. Becuase he is a waste of space and you deserve someone to love you for you. And only you. Feel sad for the poor women he is with. C.

Lorrae

It will get easier with time and you will find that the confusion clears and you will begin to see things differently.

As for his stuff, bag it up and shove it in the garage and tell him to get it or you will put it in the charity bags that come round.

My ex's stuff is in the garage (including his wedding rings). He made a big fuss about not wanting it in the garage and saying he would sort it out, but I got fed up with it in the hall cupboard.

His stuff is his problem, not yours. Just shove it out of sight so you don't have to be reminded of him.

Take the focus off him, his stuff, what he's doing, why he did it etc, and put it on you. Plan something to look forward to every week, even if its listening to a comedy show on the radio or having a bar of chocolate.