How do I get strong enough not to keep calling

hi there i am in the same position as yourself athough i have a 3 year old daughter to my cheating husband...he left us 4 weeks ago and has rented a shag pad out for him and his co worker police officers...i caught them both in the act ....he was meant to be taking time out from us to see what he really wanted as he said he was confused!....trust me you are better off without your husband sounds like you have had a lucky escape...no kids so do yourself a favout delete his nummber from your phone and meet someone who truly desrves yor love...he will never tell you the truth.....

my husband refuses to talk to me after 12 years being together and 5 years of marriage...i wish i did not have to have contact with him but he wants to be a super father when ever he feels like it

trust me we will both meet our true soul mates but right now all we have is sleepless nights, sick fto the pitt of our stomaches cant concentrate and all we think about is the past we had with the husband we thought we knew!!!

take care of yourself x:angry:

you need to let time heal although a week seems a long time away it will get better honest

I have now gone through a whole two days without calling, and I must admit, I feel a little bit better by doing so. All I wanted him to do is tell me the truth, so that I can move on with my life. People tell me he was a control freak, but I loved him, and just wanted him to be happy. My husband is 3 years younger than me, and now I feel so old, I am now 48, and although everyone tells me I look young for my age, I feel this is the end of my life, and that I will end up old and lonely.....I am just plain scared really, and so depressed, I don't really think of any kind of future. I have read a lot of other peoples pain on this site, and it does make me see that I am not alone. Some people who have small children must be going mad, its so awful I cannot imagine it.

Hi Lorrae,
He will never tell you the truth. You have to move on because you decide to. If he was the control freak your friends believe him to be- and, lets face it, they are more likely to see it than you- you have to get out of the psychological grip he still has on you.
We all get old, and it's up to you whether you feel lonely or not. First you have to develop your relationship with yourself, and to be self-reliant. You dont need to depend on anyone else. There are plenty of resources for meeting new friends or dating again, if thats what you want.
You are better off without him....time to get on with YOUR life.

Lorrae,
48 is NOT old!!!!!
your life is not over. this was just a chapter in it. you are not starting again, just continuing, but now you have the freedom to live your life as you choose and he has given you the possibility of meeting someone wonderful. first though you have to be happy for yourself, we cant rely on others to make us happy if we can't make ourselves happy.
you are in your prime you need a guy in his 20's before he is past his prime.lol. your ex was way past his sell-by date.

well done for not calling. now you are taking control over your own life.

I agree with constanza, he will never tell you the truth, my stbx tells so many lies even he doesn't know what the truth is anymore.

Do not allow that one person to destroy your life. is he really worth it???

Hi Lorrae

Firstly a big hug (((lorrae))). I know its a hard stage you are at..been there done that got the t-shirt I can say, cliched as it is, time does help, its a grieving process you go through really.

itgetsbetter has given good advice there, I did a lot of those things too eventually and they did help. Putting stop on the phone number is a good one too. One thing I eventually did on the suggestion of my counsellor was to write a letter, just write without thinking too much and get all those feelings out. Of course the letter is never to be sent to the ex but just a way of expressing those very strong emotions and releasing them.

It has been 5 weeks now, and feeling a little stronger, my husband has not phoned at all, and I have not called him. Still getting days when I just wondered what I have done wrong, but I am coping a little better.

When he came to collect his clothes and Lambertta Scotter (which we had only just bought) he said he was not taking anything thing else, however I have loads of his things, and I just do not know how to handle him collecting them, and seeing him, as its still so painful. I know he is now with someone else, and so he is just to busy to contact me, but I feel until he collects all his stuff, I can close the door. I still love him but he has hurt me so badly, that I could never take him back. Still confused over it all.