Well the forum says Introduce yourself..

Hi all,
How did I stumble on to this site...

You guessed it, because my marriage is down the pan...

Wouldn't say we had the perfect marriage but had thought it was better than most..
Been married almost 20 years and have a son of 16

I really loved my wife and thought nothing would stop us being together forever even though she can be really selfish and also can NEVER admit she is wrong and apologise..

I did tons around the house and garden, we have a beautiful house, new car and go fairly frequent holidays...

Then I discovered the affair!! and as more and more details have been uncovered its clear she really has been taking the p1ss....

Kind of tried for a while to see if we could work through it but a distinct lack of remorse nor any explanation for why she did what she did has made me come to a decision that its over...

Ok, so what advice can anyone give me in relation to the process of seperating(Not bothered about divorce or should I be?), what happens with the house, finances etc...

Cheers

S

Hi

Welcome to Wiki. Let me tell you that we are all very glad to have stumbled across this place. You will find alot of support here. Have a look round the forums and there is a library as well with alot of information.

Oh and you can pop in and say hi in the chat room.

Separation/divorce are horrible horrible things....but things do get better especially if you have the right support.

Take care
Claymic

Hi smym

Welcome to wikivorce

Clay's right - we're a friendly bunch here. There are lots of peeps here who will give you good advice. If you want specific financial advice, just post the up the information to the following:

Your respective ages;

The number of children you have and their ages;

How many nights the children spend with each parent;

The length of your marriage and any period of pre marriage cohabitation;

Your respective incomes;

Your respective outgoings;

Your assets - both soley held and joint;

Your liabilities.


Shezi

hello there, welcome to wikivorce.
i am so very glad i discovered this site in January, it has been a lifesaver for me.
the chatroom is great and you will meet so many genuine, nice people who will be there for you when you are a bit down or needing some advice.
all the best, chris.

Hi Smym

Welcome to wiki.

Scottish law is quite different to English/Welsh law. You can decide to legally separate, ie, draw up a document that determines the financial and child arrangements (although your son is 16, and therefore no longer a child in the eyes of the law).

There is no need to rush into making any descion about divorce, but I do think that, if you are seperating, then you should think about sorting things out.

Our step-by-step guide has further information, it can be found here
www.wikivorce.com/divorce/Scotland/Scotl...de/Introduction.html.



Just yell if you have any more questions

Ruby

Hi,
I cannot believe your circumstances are so very similar to mine. the only difference being that we have been married 38 years! I truly loved my wife and until her affair I hadn't realised quite how much. she to has no remorse or explanation and says i have done nothing wrong but cant live her life without 'him' being part of it. like you i tried to leave the door open ('he' will not leave his wife her)thinking she may realise what she is giving up for seemingly nothing! but when she told me she didn't want to be with me regardless of 'him' i realised it was over. Acceptance and starting move i'm told is the key and each day will help us become stronger. Good luck

TraderCol

Firstly - Thanks for the replies...
Secondly - Apologies for not replying sooner(Technical problems!)

Ok I had to wait for a couple of things to happen and has delayed my next step..

But now I'm ready...

I want to leave my wife but I am just at a loss as to how to go about it...

i.e. I don't have anywhere to go?

What would people suggest? As a buying process would take a while and would rely on any funds from sale of existing home would renting be the way forward...

Also if I was to move out and rent? what then happens with paying mortgage/bills etc on current property...

Please please help

Thanks