just looking

If there are secrets then its a sugn of bad communication which will lead to problems.. unless this is discussed and out in the open.. maybe she is thinking of a divorce and your attitude to this is hostile? maybe she is afraid to talk to you? whatever the reasons are you have to bring them out in the open and discuss them in a mature way.

Steve,
The easy way to find out is to ask.

There has been a lot of interest in this site since the article was printed in the paper.

Some of it because people now know that there is a site out there that will provide support and help for those going through difficult times.

Others - becasue they are wanting to know what wikivorce is all about.

The aim of this site is to provide help, support, guidance to those that need it.

As others have said - she may well be looking for a friend, she may be showing signs that she feels something is wrong.

Please try not to get upset with any of our comments as a lot of us have been hurt deeply.

Once again I would say if you want to know why she was looking - ask her, it may not be as bad as you think.

TUF

Hi Steve, sorry you didn't find this site a barrel of laughs. It might be because almost everyone on here is going through major emotional and personal trauma. If you want comedy maybe you could check out a couple of sites set up specifically for that purpose.
You will also find that almost no-one uses their correct name on this site, an alias is so much easier for a dozen reasons. That said, many of us now know the names of other contributors. Just curious, but is your real name really Steve401?
I'm sorry for both of you if your wife is actually considering divorce or separation. It's a nightmare, and if that happens then feel free to check in here for advice, support and a shoulder to lean on. You might even find that some of us have a sense of humour, albeit a little black at times.

Hi Steve.
I have read all the other posts to your thread and just wanted to let you know that my sister found this site, registered and came on to have a look before she recommended it to me. I am sure she wouldn't have told her husband as I have asked her to keep the fact that my husband and I are splitting up quiet for a while. The difference is he trust her and they talk about everything. If he had found a link to this site on their computer he would ask her about it and offer sympathy and help when he knew the facts. Not go around randomly condemming her for something that she most certainly is not doing.
Please talk to your wife. Maybe she just needs a little trust and respect from you. From what you have said it doesn't sound like you give her much. Sorry to be so hard on you but if my husband had bothered to spend ten minutes trying to talk to me we may not be in the mess we are in right now. Good luck, swallow your pride and try to put yourself in her shoes. If she is thinking about divorce and you let her know you are willing to discuss other options you may be able to save your relationship, if that is what you want.

The first rule of good communication is not to make assumptions. There is only one person who can give you an answer to your curiosity.

It could be that you would rather not deal with the consequences of knowing the answer if you asked the question - and yet you might be well satisfied. Assuming the worst from the outset is already creating a barrier between the two of you.

What is it you want for your marriage? What are you prepared to do to get it? What are you not prepared to do?

Good luck

Firstly,can i apologise for using the the term hardly a bundle of laughs. It was glib and what i meant was that this is not a place people should come to for entertainment or voyuerism.

Whilst i take on some of the comments here my point was that in what i thought was a good and happy marriage it was a shock to find my wife had been here. It wouldnt have mattered a hoot to me if she'd said she was just looking at the time after reading the article.
But registering under an assumed name,completely different from the usual usernames we use on other sites on the internet is most concerning.

We will sort this eventually hopefully.

Good luck Steve. I hope you can sort it out. Just don't jump to conclusions, give her a chance to talk to you properly without getting upset with her, and really listen to what she tells you. I can't speak for anyone else but if my husband had taken the time to just talk to me and listen to my problems without judging me and coming back with wel you did this tit for tat stuff, I probably wouldn't be on this site either. x