New here, with mixed emotions

Hi all, thank you for reading. 2 months have gone by and me and my partner are over. My choice, my decision. A four year relationship thats had it all. Fun, happiness, sadness, infidelity, physical abuse. 2 years ago he cheated on me with 2 women. When I found out, I threw him out, but he pleaded and begged with me to give him another chance. Weakly (or not) I gave in and just 2 years later, I found out about an attempt he'd made on someone I know and trust. Of course he denied it at first, then when he realised I knew the truth, he started to say he didn't mean to do it. More like he didn't mean to get caught out (again).
That was 2 months ago. Since then, I've experienced so much hurt and heartache. He's going round telling OUR friends that I won't take him back. Too right I won't, but it still hurts to have made the decision in the first place. I gave 100% and didn't get it back. Why do I feel so sad one day, and okay the next? Why do I cry for him, and worry that he's lonely and not coping?
Questions, questions, questions x

Hi Neen

Welcome to Wiki.

The emotions that you're going through - fine one day, sad the next - are completely normal. You're mourning the death of your relationship, and it's going to take time...but gradually the fine days will begin to outnumber the sad days and suddenly you'll realise that there aren't any sad days at all anymore. Time heals all!

Good luck, I'm sure you'll find someone who really deserves you when you least expect it.

X

it's amazing the number of people who throw love away for the sake of an affair

you are too good for this
he is a loser

I think you actually get conditioned to being treated badly.
It's like getting out of jail almost like you have become institutionalized.Serial adulterers have a whole set of mechanisms for lying,denying,and generally making you feel like the one who's in the wrong.
He obviously is very selfish,with no regard other than his physical gratification at the time.But when caught out,denies when he knows you've really got him banged to rights he's like I didn't mean it.He actually then goes round moaning and seeking sympathy when he's been punished.Thast is what a child actually does.he views himself as a kid who can do what he wants and everyone loves him so much his charm will get him off with it.
All the best
Pete x

Gosh Pete

I didn't realise your knew my ex husband!

Jo x

Mine too - insightful!!!!!!

Hallo neen

what you are feeling is normal. You are used to caring about this man and you can't just turn off your feelings.

Last year my ex left me after 31 years, to live with another woman. I was so daft I was even hoping he wasn't rushing into a relationship where he would get hurt!!!!

counselling helped me to see that I wasn't responsible for his emotional wellbeing - only my own.

Nell