Hello there

I found this forum the other day, and I already feel that it's going to be of invaluable help for me in the future.

My story is nothing amazing so far. I've been married 7+ years and we have a son who is almost 7. My wife has decided we should be separated. I'm not exactly sure why, but I guess that's not important, as she seems to have made her mind up.

I really wish I could change her mind.

I can't imagine what the future will be like for me, but I see myself alone, miserable, and unloved. I see no point in anything, and my son drifting away from me.

Sometimes, I'm okay. This morning, I woke up at 5am, and spent three hours crying my eyes out. The only reason I've stopped is because I'm here typing this message.

I'm not a strong person, just the idea of it sends me into a panic.

Welcome to Wiki, Richard - you're amongst friends now, don't worry!
It is miserable when all the plans you both had for the future seem to have been thrown out the window, and divorce is made much worse by the legal system.
Is there any chance of getting to Relate or similar to see if your relationship can be saved?
hugs
abi

problem I had, is once someones mind is made up trying to change it makes the whole situation worse...and it actually made HIM more determined to carry on with his PLANS.
so as hard as it feels right now and believe me its unbearable I know that,please try and not think of changing her mind.Concentrate on your son....at 7 he will remember this time so try and make them happy ones.
keep coming here.....be brave and it really will feel better....wont say soon coz every situation is different but each day with bring u 1 step closer :o))

Hi Richard,
Welcome to Wiki (((hug)))
It is very early days for you, be kind to yourself, and remember you are not alone.
Wiki has proved to be a great support to me, take care x

Hi Richard

Welcome to Wiki. I am sorry to hear your situation.

You say your wife had made up her mind she wants you to separate. Do you know what is driving this? At this stage in a breakup it is a chance for both partners to talk openly about what they want from their life and to see if they can get that within the marriage. If they can't then divorce is the way to go.

Divorce is not an easy option, but it does not mean you end up alone, miserable and unloved. It also does not mean your son drifts away, if anything it can make the bond stronger.

The important thing for you is to keep things together, be there for your son, keep your dignity, and really try to get your wife to communicate - perhaps counselling may help.

All the best

S

Hi Richard - I know exactly how you feel - as most on here, have been where you are now. My ex walked out nearly 3 years ago after 10 years of marriage (19 together) and our children were 2 and 4. Devastated is an understatement. Anyway - I've come through, and life is better now, but it has been a rollercoaster and a massive life experience. Any help, just ask!
Sue184

Hi,

My husband has found a new lady after 20 years of marriage - I feel afraid - afraid of being on my own forever - of not ever finding anything to laugh about again, and he wasn't even a great husband - i am trying to take it day by day - it has been 5 weeks now - I just hope that somewhere along the line I'll walk out of the darkness and into the sun again.