My husband left me and my son

thank you rainy day.

PND is horrible, but i am trying my best to be a good mother and i honestly believe i am, just finding it difficult being alone with a demanding toddler. i just wish the depression would lift.

maybe i will contact my health visitor.

i am trying to be positive with son and in front of his dad, i wish i could tell him what is happening but he cant understand.

i dont think he has noticed his dad isnt at home, but he is very excited when he comes to see him.

i am feeling lost and didnt think i would be in this situation.

Hi lonelyplace

You ARE a good mother. PND is the black whole of depression. It knows no boundries and misses no-one!


Anyone who has had "PND" suffers in their own way.

Yes it is difficult but it will "lift" when "it" is ready too!

Your health visitor will understand exactly what you are going through however - with no disrespect to the dad - he hasn't been pregnant nor gone through childbirth - therefore I would not expect him to understand - my ex's interpretation of PND meant that I couldn't lift the car keys and go out shopping!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Never mind that my mother wasn't there to share the birth of her grand-children! - and I adored my mother!

Of course you son will be excited to see his dad and use this time to "collect" your own thoughts and get back on your feet.

Use the time to relax and chill out.

A demanding toddler is hard work.

Take care with best wishes

Depression is rotten, whatever the cause.

Do see your health visitor or gp asap and explain what is going on.

I have had pnd and also was depressed (naturally) when my ex left me last year.

I had anti-depressants and counselling. The a=ds just took the edge of the feeling hopeless so that I was able to function better and see there was some point in getting out of bed.

The counselling helped me to realise I wasn't responsible for my husband's emotions - and I was responsible for mine! Very liberating.

Do keep posting. And things will get better.

Some good advice for you on these pages.
You need to put some boundaries in place. You are separated atthe moment and you ned to know when and iif he is coming. That will give you some control.
Definately concentrate on looking after yourself and your son at the moment. You don't ned to make any decisions yet - and you shouldn't while you have pnd.
Good luck and take care.
My first husband left when I was 6 months pregnant so I know how hard it is dealing with allthis when your emotions are all ove rthe place and dealing with a small child.
I got over it and he was out of my life completely within 2 years. He rang me after 5 years and said 'It's Ian' and I genuinely said 'Ian who?'My daughter is 26 now.His loss!
Unfortunately I am going through it again but I had 19 happy years the second time and a super stepson and a second daughter so I don't regret either relationship.

Hi all

thank you for your replies, am feeling very low today.
my husband has collected my son and is acting as if he is happy and nothing has happened. i on the other hand feel devestated he is like this. he is calling the shots telling me when he is bringing son home cause what he needs to do. and he has the cheek to say i get lots of breaks.. not true. he tkes him out for nice days andd gets the easy bits. i on the other hand hve the day to day stuff, feeding, dicipline, tantrums, clothing, bathing etc etc. and its 24/7. i feel so angry and hurt. he says he is bringing him back at 1pm as he needs to go to work. this is his choice. he is off today. i have heard nthing from his parents since he left and i even wonder if he is seeing somene else.
i feel so lost, totally on my own, sitting here crying in silence.
any kind words or perspective would be appreciated. X

Hi

You are the best mum

I'll try and write more later. Til then take care x

Ah lonelyplace, so very sorry you are in such pain. Depression and PND are awful and you must feel so very lost at the moment. I had PND which fell into Depression when my parents died and my stbx started messing around with other women. He too tried to blame it all on me - when we split one of his reasons were that it was "hell" for him living with a depressive!! If your other half is wandering around happy with himself I think i would be suspicious too!! You have done absolutely nothing to deserve the way he is treating you and you are coping with your son BRILLIANTLY! It does sound odd that your husband is trying to shift the blame for your break up onto you - have you asked him if there is someone else?? Be preapared for barefaced lies but usually your gut instinct will guide you. As for his parents - beyond belief!!!!!! - they dont deserve to call your son their grandson! Unless of course they don't know the situation? Hang in there there are thousands of Wikipeeps with you xxx