Hi

Marshy

Excellent post!

Jo x

"Had your time slot"?

Cheeky beggar, does he think marriage is akin to speed dating?

"Our hearts are not machines. We cant just programme them to do this, feel that. Not like setting up the video for eastenders. We are complicated creatures with complicated feelings. But realy our hearts are fickle and stupid. If we just had a brain I think we would be better off sometimes."


This is so true, yet how many people on here condemn their partners for leaving?

BTW I am not defending the OP's husband - you will see what I wrote if you read back.
BUT I am quoting from Marshy's excellent post about other situations.
If you fall out of love with someone, that is it, all the talking, all the compromising on both sides, all the plans you might make - all of that will mean NOTHING if there is not love on both sides.
So then you have to leave if you are honest.....

Firstly, I'd like to say a really BIG thankyou to everyone that has taken the time to reply to my post.
I think its correct that I want what I feel I cant have, and I know its fear of loneliness that has made me think it would be better to be with him or no one.
I have to let this go and concentrate on finding me again. I'm 37 years old, surely thats not me finished!! (although my 12 year daughter would say so lol)xx

At 46 my life was over.
At 49 my life has just begun.

Jo x

Acceptance, letting go and and moving on is really hard. It took me a while and it was hell, my heart goes out to you. But, as others have said, life does begin again although it's hard to imagine that at the time.

I started to move on after attending a Divorce Recovery Worksop - I highly recommend it. Very friendly people with really good advice when it comes to dealing with these issues. (Just google 'drw').

I take your point Lucretia but in alot of cases the leaving party keeps their thoughts about falling out of love to themselves till they decide to tell the other person they are leaving.

I was told our marriage was "idyllic" 2 days before he admitted to the affair. Forgive me for my condemnation of him. I am sure people will say it was my fault too though, but I don't blame myself (anymore, took a while mind) and have moved on to a greater extent than I thought possible 10 months ago.

So mustgethappy you are so not finished, this is a start, I am 37 and feel alot younger than I have done in a long time!