Consent order/Divorce

Hi out there
I have already posted a question but should have introduced myself first.
My 'Divorce' is a joke to all my friends now because it has been going on for 17 years since we first separated.
At the time I had 2 small children, 3 jobs and a big house we had bought, mostly with the proceeds of a house I already had, with a lot of serious problems.
I was also ill so was really pushing myself to carry on. Eventually, my health broke down completely. I had to give up work and although I thought this was temporary, I was never well enough to go back
I was too busy and stressed to think about divorce at the time. He bought a nice house and is happy in a long term cohabitation. but over the years I have started proceedings several times.
He would never answer letters and since he lives close and was seeing the children a lot I did not want to start fighting. I never really got good advice from solicitors either really.
A few years ago I realised that not being divorced is not good psychologically because you are attatched to someone you have nothing to do with anymore.
More importantly, we never had a financial settlement just ad hoc arrangements. I never went for maintenance.
Anyway, after several more false starts and a lot of costs, we were nearly there with a Consent Order. He was ok with this because you dont have to do the full form E. He has even started paying me secured payments monthly. Now my husband has thrown a spanner in the works and the question I posted refers to this.
After all this time I was holding my breath, practically, for the divorce to come through. I had even begun to think about a party!
Now I almost feel like throwing in the towel. I dont have the amotional energy.
I have to carry on, though, but does anyone know any legal books or information sites wher I could maybe find out how reasonable an 'excess of 6 month cohabitation and then secured payments stop' clause is in general. I have no relationship at the moment, so it is theoretical, but it seems this clause is very controlling and 6 months is nothing in a new relationship when maintenance is at stake.
Anyway, that's me!

I'm afraid that's a fairly standard clause...

Thanks. I can understand marriage or long term settled cohabitation but 6 months!? Is this common?

Yes it is common... however, what is also common is that it is difficult to prove co-habitation.

Can't believe this. Even if i were to cohabit I am 62 years old and any cohbitee would probably be living on a pension so how could they have financial responsibility for me? Also, even if I were to cohabit do you have to live in fear then of spouse finding out and me losing my payments,not big,even if cohabitee has no money.
Sorry to go on about this but I really am gobsmacked and upset.
Thanks for taking the trouble. can I look this rule up anywhere?

I don't think there is a 'rule' and if this is something you feel strongly about it could be part of the negotiations with your stbx.

What proportion of the other assets will you be getting? WIll you keep all the equity in the house? Any pension share?

The clause is fairly standard and is intended to give the same effect to spousal maintenance as remarriage does.

The intention of the clause is to give fairness to the paying party in the event that the receiving party begins a long-terms relationship. Previously maintenance would have ceased on remarriage but there is no longer any stigma attached to cohabitation without marriage therefore the clause has been modifed.

Looking from your ex's point of view, is it fair for him to contribute to your household when you are in a new relationship where you pool resources? The amount of those resources is irrelevant as long as there is an income - this includes pension.

The term of 6 months is considered fair for cohabitation as there is an assumption that the relationship will have pre-existed for a period prior to cohabitation commencing therfore the relationship will have found a firm footing by the time cohabitation has reached 6 months.

Charles