alone after divorce

Hi Joe. I lost my step kids also. PM me if you want. Hang in there. Be strong. You will get thru this. C.

Hi Joe
You don't say how old the children are. I've lost my step family but they're adult. They wrote me very nice letters after it happened thanking me for all I'd done for them over the years, 'especially for all the little things' and 'for helping them to see the bigger picture' when things were awful between their Mum and Dad.

Nothing since. Not even an acknowlegement for Christmas gifts last year, the first after 21 years when I'd never forgotten them before or for birthday gifts I sent too.

Still, I suppose they have accepted their father's version of events and blood's thicker than water.

Lots of good advice by others on here. Take it. They know what they're talking about!

Mitchum wrote:

Hi Joe
You don't say how old the children are. I've lost my step family but they're adult. They wrote me very nice letters after it happened thanking me for all I'd done for them over the years, 'especially for all the little things' and 'for helping them to see the bigger picture' when things were awful between their Mum and Dad.

Nothing since. Not even an acknowlegement for Christmas gifts last year, the first after 21 years when I'd never forgotten them before or for birthday gifts I sent too.

Still, I suppose they have accepted their father's version of events and blood's thicker than water.

Lots of good advice by others on here. Take it. They know what they're talking about!

When I left Nov 2006 I left money for my step kids xmas. And the youngest was 14 so I bought her birthday present and a card etc. Her bithday was 16th Jan 2007. I never heard anything. In fact on my last day which was 3 years ago today I did walk in to my old FMH and say goodby. Nothing. They blanked me. I have heard nothing since. And they live a mile away. So yes blood is thicker than water and they must believe what they both have told them. He is dad now. Thats what they wanted all along. But they tricked me into buying a 3 bed house knowing full well that they never intended to allow me to see them or have them stay.

But it did hurt that I was dad for 12 years and then they turn turn against me. But I am over it now. They know what there mum did. But hey thats life.

This is the thing that no one tells you about step children. In the event of a breakup you will lose them. And thats hard. Becuase for all intents and purposes you are mum or dad. C.

Marshy_ wrote:

This is the thing that no one tells you about step children. In the event of a breakup you will lose them. And thats hard. Becuase for all intents and purposes you are mum or dad. C.

My step-daughters were 5,8 and 12 when I met ex.
They were part of my life for 17 years. When ex left
I thought they would maybe forget me, how wrong I was.
They have been there and supported me. My eldest
step-daughter is now my best friend.

Marshy it is sad that you lost contact with your
step children but it was their choice not yours, you
were always there for them and maybe in time they
will remember that.

Poppie x

Hi Poppie. I doubt that they will remember me. I suspect that I am forgotten already. Thats the way it is with these people. To be honest I am not sure if I should speak to them if they aproach me. I live a life of peace now. I dont fancy my windows put in, my car attacked and them banging on the door looking for there precious daughter. Too much water under the bridge now. And so far nothing bad has happened for over 2 years. I would like to keep it that way. C.

Joe,

Always scary to post on somewhere like here: I have lurked for a couple of months before posting today!.

Strangely reassuring to see someone else has always been there/seen that/ done that: hang in, if you seriously are worrying about the future go and see your GP: I'll buy mine a week in paradise when I can afford it for the common sense he spoke to me: 10 years later he cant believe how much I've progressed( all thanks to an hour long conversation)

Joe, I brought my stepson up from the age of 4and 2 and a half years after his Dad left he is still around and hasn't yet seen his Dad.
He is 25 now and will be here with me and his sisters (one my dtr from my previous marriage and one the joint child between me and his Dad) on Christmas Day with his girlfriend. It sometimes works out with stepchildren. I said to him when we first split that he would always be my son and I am always here if he needs anything.
I said tohim once when I was upset *Don't ever do this to anyone^ and he said "You have brought me up to be better than that" and that is how he has judged his Dad.
Take the good advice in these posts, it really does get better in time.
I am approaching my 3rd Xmas without stbx and I have found that the day itself is not as bad as the dread!