what a terrible xmas

I don't mean don't have an alternative view. Support / suggestions / advice etc. be offered by all means... though, as I said, it should be positive.

But in terms of not taking a poster's situation at face value? We ask questions, we ask for more information - but it isn't fair to suggest a poster is guilty of something that poster has already said they are not. Nor can we stop people from being judgemental, of course some will judge - but it isn't why we are here. It isn't our job. The OP came here for support - let's offer that shall we?

Shezi

PS Lucretia - I don't think your face doesn't fit... I think you've written some excellent posts!

Shezi wrote:

I don't mean don't have an alternative view. Support / suggestions / advice etc. be offered by all means... though, as I said, it should be positive.

But in terms of not taking a poster's situation at face value? We ask questions, we ask for more information - but it isn't fair to suggest a poster is guilty of something that poster has already said they are not. Nor can we stop people from being judgemental, of course some will judge - but it isn't why we are here. It isn't our job. The OP came here for support - let's offer that shall we?

Shezi




PS Lucretia - I don't think your face doesn't fit... I think you've written some excellent posts!

Funny - I thought I was offering support NOT telling this poor man his wife is having an affair and is then going to take him to the cleaners.
Why am I the only one who is appalled by this?

*gives up and goes to do something far more worthwhile...*

Lucretia,

You are not the only one!

I'd like to know the answers to these questions raised earlier:

1. She wants to divorce you on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour? What is the unreasonable behaviour she is citing? She will be asked by a brief if she cites these grounds.

2. Why have you not asked her four months down the line aabout not hearing from her solicitor or at least been served papers?

Lucretia wrote:

Lucretia...
As I say, double standards on here... if your face fits, fine. If it doesn't, god help you.

If anyone is a misfit thats me. Its me that dont fit round here. Cos I am already divorced and I guess I shouldnt be here. I enjoy your posts. I know you dont always agree with me. You have told me so. But I like it when people dont agree or show another view. I like to see good debate. Chalange, chalange and chalange some more. Its good and its healthy.

I like what you write. Your experiance is different from mine. I like it when there is a ballanced view. If its all the same views then we may as well not bother posting. But I think you should post far more than you do becuase your exp is different and I for one value what you have to say. I am sure others do. Keep chalanging. C.

My comment is just is although it takes two parties to want a marriage to work and strive for it, it only takes one to call a halt.

One party wants to end it and the rest is just down to how much time it takes. As for the reasons cited for an Unreasonable Behaviour divorce they mean nothing and the majority are usually exaggerated or questionable as to their gennuiness.

To the OP if you want to start the ball rolling go and get your solicitor to file papers on her and take control of the situation.

T

Lucretia,

The reason I commented on your post but not Pete's is that you criticised his post, which had nothing to do with you. You say you are not judgemental, but you wrote a reply with what felt like a fairly sarcastic subtext in response to his post.

If you read my reply on a fairly recent thread here;
www.wikivorce.com/divorce/Divorce-Forum/...ng-unreasonable.html
(don't bother if you don't want to wade through it all), you'll see I also recently criticised Pete for making negative generalisations about women. So I don't view him as superhero.

I don't have a problem with you expressing your viewpoint, even a very strong decided one (as is your personality, which I think is great), but you can't then expect people not to respond when they find your comments a little confronting.

As a fellow woman with strongly held and expressed opinions, I demand the right to speak my mind, but I also respect the right for people to strongly and loudly disagree with me. I hope you can be okay about the fact that sometimes when I express my opinion, it might be directly confronting something you've said. Likewise I'd invite you to do the same with me.

Have a great new year - see you next decade.

elvis_fan wrote:

Lucretia,

The reason I commented on your post but not Pete's is that you criticised his post, which had nothing to do with you. You say you are not judgemental, but you wrote a reply with what felt like a fairly sarcastic subtext in response to his post.

If you read my reply on a fairly recent thread here;
www.wikivorce.com/divorce/Divorce-Forum/...ng-unreasonable.html
(don't bother if you don't want to wade through it all), you'll see I also recently criticised Pete for making negative generalisations about women. So I don't view him as superhero.

I don't have a problem with you expressing your viewpoint, even a very strong decided one (as is your personality, which I think is great), but you can't then expect people not to respond when they find your comments a little confronting.

As a fellow woman with strongly held and expressed opinions, I demand the right to speak my mind, but I also respect the right for people to strongly and loudly disagree with me. I hope you can be okay about the fact that sometimes when I express my opinion, it might be directly confronting something you've said. Likewise I'd invite you to do the same with me.

Have a great new year - see you next decade.

Elvis fan - great post and I thank you. I can also accept that you will confront me at times and we may well have quite a heated debate. BUT like you I do not bear grudges and we will probably agree on another thread.
Oh but one thing I must take issue with re Pete's post. He posted a very offensive post IMO which is why I responded like I di. It may not have been anything directly to do with me but I was offended by it and said so in my own inimitable style!


You have a fab new year too xxxx