another bad year behind me.

i really though i would be free of my husband by now but its just not happening. another destroyed new years eve! i wish i was strong enough. he makes me feel so inadaquent... problem is we work together on a suppoese joint business but he leaves it to me mainly. he went to tunsia for christmas and left me to it. and now i am on y own again. how do i get out of this???? hate my life. feel so lonley

Sorry to hear things are difficult for you and you are feeling so bad at the moment. This is a place you will get lots of advice and support.Oerhaps if you are able o adda few more details f your curent situation, then poel may be abkleto give more specific advise. or pop into chat some time if oyu just want someone to listen to what is bothring you.

Stop using him as the reason you feel inadequate. You can only feel inadequate if you allow yourself to. If he really thinks you are inadequate why is he leaving you to deal with things?

What do you intend to do about the business? I can't imagine you want to carry on working with this man after you are divorced. Can you sell him your share or buy him out?

Forget about him going to Tunisia. What he says and does is irrelevant now, 2010 should be about what you say and do.

Sorry if this sounds harsh, but I let my husband decide how I felt for such a long time and it was merely empowering him and disempowering me. Its liberating to feel you are in control of your life.

hi
i was in the same situation last year. i was married for 18 months and just divorced. it was horrendous! once we married and he moved in with my daughter and i he tried to control us and got really aggresive, even monitoring my phone calls. i found the strength to get him out, it wasnt easy as he had moved in from a rented flat and had no money! i had to pay 6 months rent for him to go , it was terrible time.
but now hes gone i have found strength i never knew i had and thank god my daughter has forgiven me for bringing him in the house.i am so happy now and on my own. i have a busness and love it. you could buy him out and start a new life?

hi
i was in the same situation last year. i was married for 18 months and just divorced. it was horrendous! once we married and he moved in with my daughter and i he tried to control us and got really aggresive, even monitoring my phone calls. i found the strength to get him out, it wasnt easy as he had moved in from a rented flat and had no money! i had to pay 6 months rent for him to go , it was terrible time.
but now hes gone i have found strength i never knew i had and thank god my daughter has forgiven me for bringing him in the house.i am so happy now and on my own. i have a busness and love it. you could buy him out and start a new life?

I think you need to stop working together.

I'm sure it won't be easy to sort this out but this is going to wear you down just when you've got loads of other things to deal with.

It sounds as though you are more committed than him so why not try suggesting that you run the business. You never know this could be exactly what he wants but just can't face it himself.

Good luck X

Hi choc,
Sorry to hear that you are so down.
It doesn't seem to be a smart move to be working in the same business together if you are so unhappy with him. Are you able to sell it or dissolve it?
As Nell has said you do need to take control - as tough a call as that is you have to find the strength to do that.
Wishing you all the best.