Hello Maybenot and welcome to Wikivorce.
Hopefully you may find a few answers to the practical issues surrounding the emotional and legal minefield that is separation and divorce here. THere is also a caring community spirit of people who know the pain you are going through and can re-assure you that there is a happy and fulfilled life going forwards, when you are emotionally ready to do that.
To the specifics of your post........ I can only make observations and perhaps with some more detail, others may have additional commments to make.
42 years is a hell of a long time. I can imagine that you are a little daunted by the future, and of course, the finances.
It is not clear from your posting whether your husband is the same age as yourself at 59, but I assume he will be of a similar age.
In such a long marriage, the strting point for the division of assets is as you point out 50:50. However, were the matter to go to court for resolution, a number of factors come into play, namely The Matrimonial Causes Act s25.
Essentially, a court would look to leave both parties on as even a finacial footing as possible, post divorce. Clearly, your husband has significantly better pension provision than yourself and has additional benefits paid to him. The provisions of the MCA s25 that the court look at are:
[F16 25.
Matters to which court is to have regard in deciding how to exercise its powers under ss. 23, 24 and 24A.
— (1) It shall be the duty of the court in deciding whether to exercise its powers under section 23, 24 [F17 , 24A or 24B] above and, if so, in what manner, to have regard to all the circumstances of the case, first consideration being given to the welfare while a minor of any child of the family who has not attained the age of eighteen.
(2) As regards the exercise of the powers of the court under section 23(1)(a), (b) or (c), 24 [F18 , 24A or 24B]above in relation to a party to the marriage, the court shall in particular have regard to the following matters—
(a)
the income, earning capacity, property and other financial resources which each of the parties to the marriage has or is likely to have in the foreseeable future, including in the case of earning capacity any increase in that capacity which it would in the opinion of the court be reasonable to expect a party to the marriage to take steps to acquire;
(b)
the financial needs, obligations and responsibilities which each of the parties to the marriage has or is likely to have in the foreseeable future;
(c)
the standard of living enjoyed by the family before the breakdown of the marriage;
(d)
the age of each party to the marriage and the duration of the marriage;
(e)
any physical or mental disability of either of the parties to the marriage;
(f)
the contributions which each of the parties has made or is likely in the foreseeable future to make to the welfare of the family, including any contribution by looking after the home or caring for the family;
(g)
the conduct of each of the parties, if that conduct is such that it would in the opinion of the court be inequitable to disregard it;
(h)
in the case of proceedings for divorce or nullity of marriage, the value to each of the parties to the marriage of any benefit F19 . . . which, by reason of the dissolution or annulment of the marriage, that party will lose the chance of acquiring.
(3) As regards the exercise of the powers of the court under section 23(1)(d), (e) or (f), (2) or (4), 24 or 24A above in relation to a child of the family, the court shall in particular have regard to the following matters—
(a)
the financial needs of the child;
(b)
the income, earning capacity (if any), property and other financial resources of the child;
(c)
any physical or mental disability of the child;
(d)
the manner in which he was being and in which the parties to the marriage expected him to be educated or trained;
(e)
the considerations mentioned in relation to the parties to the marriage in paragraphs (a), (b), (c) and (e) of subsection (2) above.
(4) As regards the exercise of the powers of the court under section 23(1)(d), (e) or (f), (2) or (4), 24 or 24A above against a party to a marriage in favour of a child of the family who is not the child of that party, the court shall also have regard—
(a)
to whether that party assumed any responsibility for the child’s maintenance, and, if so, to the extent to which, and the basis upon which, that party assumed such responsibility and to the length of time for which that party discharged such responsibility;
(b)
to whether in assuming and discharging such responsibility that party did so knowing that the child was not his or her own;
(c)
to the liability of any other person to maintain the child.]
Clearly, you are a year from retirement and looking at £80 pm plus state pension.
That is a long way from his pension and benefits.
So it would be normal to negotiate a bigger share of the marital assets and / or a share of his pension to ensure some equality.
Your house is on the market at £295,000. I assume it is a 'family' sized house? How much would a smaller 2 bed house, more suited to your needs cost in your area?
FOr example, if it were to be £195K, perhaps it would be reasonable for you to take that £195K out of the house equity, split the 205K 50:50 and take a 50% share of his pension.
THat way, your housing needs are resolved and you have a modest income to sustain you ongoing. Maybe he would prefer to
offset the
pension share against further equity in the house - 50% of his pension is worth £362 / month = £4344 pa. Say he has a life expectany of 20 years, so that would equate to £86K - he might prefer to give over more equity to keep his pension intact. SO he foregoes a further £86K of equity. So maybe you keep the house entirely, split the £205K and he keeps his pension.
You speak of his 'cohabitation' that isn't really. Where is he living? Are his housong needs met? If they are, he is on a sticky wicket to argue otherwise.
THe most cost effective solution is to engage your husband in
mediation, where you sit together with a trained mediator and thrash out this kind of agreement. See this thread:
www.wikivorce.com/divorce/Divorce-Forum/...rough-mediation.html
If it descends into the legal route, then you just kiss goodbye to an awful lot of money on solicitors, barristers and court fees. Anything from £7K to £30K or even more. How silly is that?
I hope that I have given you a flavour of how these matters are best resolved, but please do ask more questions if you need help.
It must be a very difficult time for you. All of your adult life together. I wish you well in your new life. There is a very fulfilling life for you, although it is not so obvious at the moment. It is about finding yourself again, and rebuilding yourself into the fun loving character that you once were, in singledom.
Best of luck Maybenot,
Mike
