hello all I'm new

My husband told me 3 weeks ago that he's having an affair then he left. he's put the house on the market. we've been married 16 months we have 2 children aged 8 years and 22 months both boys. the older one has become angry and I'm worried about how he's feeling and what can i do to make it better for him.
my husband says as the house is in his name and he bought it before we were married then i won't get much and I'll have to find somewhere to rent for me and the boys. I feel as though my world has come crashing down. I've cried more these last 3 weeks than the rest of my life and I'm 39 this month. I've begged him to come home and we can have councelling to sort our problems out but he wants a divorce. I've seen a solicitor and mediation is being arranged I have my assessment in 2 weeks he went to his last Friday. what do i do what is going to happen to me and the boys?

love

((hug)) welcome to wiki. you are not on your own.

Before we can help you further there are a few things we need to know. You say you have been married for 16 months - but how long have you been together?? Did you cohabit before you married. This could make a big difference to your situation. Do you know how much the house is worth and what size mortgage is on it. You say he left. Has he moved in with this person?

Also there are children involved in all this - and they have to be the priority... financially and emotionally.

They need as much love and support as possible - and you need somewhere to vent so you can stay strong for them. This is a good place for that. There are others who can give you more specific advice about how to help your older son ... I only do girls - boys are a complete mystery to me!

Post more info, ask as many questions as you want ... and do pop into that chatroom sometime to be cheered up.

Hadenoughnow

hello love3436,im sorry you are having such a bad time,but your in the right place now.what has your solicitor said about him putting the house up for sale?i think having a place for you and your children needs sorting out,did you live with him before you got married?try and put all you info down (ages,wages,assets)and then perhaps one of the lawyers on here could help you,take care ....smoker

we've been together 5.5 years he took on my eldest as his own (his natural dad was a Spanish waiter) we've lived together since oct 2004 in jan 2005 he bought his ex girlfriend out of this house. the house is on the market for 210k the mortgage as 135k. we had a son in july 2006 and we married 3rd feb 2007. I had my own house which i sold after I moved in with him, I gave him 9k to pay off his credit cards, paid for the wedding, a few applinces, new bathroom and fencing back and front. I've always worked and so has he except for a couple of months after our wedding when he was made redundant. he's moved in with his parents.

she put a charge on the property with the land registry. I earn 18k he earns 26700.
he's 33 i'm almost 39. the only asset is the house, my car's a T reg and his an 07 but with monthly payment. I've contacted csa and they are going to deal with the child maintenance side. I don't trust him anymore.

Hi love,

Mediation is good and talking direct and not through solicitors is also good, however .... you and the boys need a place to live.

It seems a bit premature to put the house on the market. You could put a notice on the land registry that you have an interest in the property and so it cannot be sold without your agreement. That does not mean that you need not agree, it means that it can't be done behind your back.

Your husband is at his parents, it seems that you and the children don't have a place to go. That is not acceptable.

What if your husband sells the property then hides/spends the money? You need to safeguard shelter for your self and the children.

Please also look at what your husband does as well as hearing what he says. I am sorry but from what you have told me he is looking out for himself not just as a priority but has no consideration for you.

A divorce is one thing, but deliberately making one's spouse and children homeless is another thing entirely.

Please see your local CAB if you can't afford a solicitor.

Good luck.

YA

when you say she put a charge on the property .. does that mean the ex girlfriend has had her cash - or will she get it when the house is sold?