Respondent (father) rights?

Dear all,

I have just recently joined this website - and the assistance / advice that you provide is invaluable; and to a certain extent a contributor to maintaining my sanity (I am self rep).

Yesterday I posted the following on a different section of the site - however have not received a legal perspective. Does anyone have an objective answer to this issue?

I have asked many questions related to my current divorce process (still early stages); and I find that, in essence, as a respondent (father) I have absolutely no rights whatsoever.

My question is - is my asumption correct; or do I as a respondent, and father, have any rights that I refer to in order ensure that my relationship with the kids is not completely destroyed by my stbx; and I don't self destruct financially.

In advance - thanks for your input. Just looking for something I can hang on to; so far all of the outcome from this process seems to reside on my stbx rights and the court's view. What ever happens with the emotional element between, say, kids and father?

Regards to all.

Xera
I'm not sure.

I think the when it comes to your relationship with your children that its the children who have the right to a relationship with you! I'm not sure that within the law that you have any rights either.

As a bit of background, what was and is your relationship with the children? How were you as a dad? What ages are the children?

I'm not being nosey for the sake of it really , but sometimes these things are relevant.

You will read horror stories on this site of NRP's (non resident parents) being denied contact by the PWC (parent with care). BUT you will also read about parents who have put their differences aside to enable the best possible situation for the children.

What do you think, honestly, is best for your children, not for you? Keep their best interests at heart and do your best to make sure that happens.

Please stay positive. Keep any contact you have with your children positive. Make them feel wanted by both you and your Ex and never ever "bad mouth" your Ex to them.

I have had my own problems with contact so perhaps I'm not the best to give advice and I seem to have concentrated this reply on the emotional rather than the legal aspects.

Hopefully there will be other replies on any practical steps you can take.

Take care
Tinny

Many thanks for your interest and response. I am still interested to hear the legal perspective on this. Thanks again.

She just gave it to you. If fight for your rights, you will loose, or rather your children will. Take it from one who knows

And no I am not a solicitor, in answer to your question

Are you a solicitor?

Hi Xera

I am sorry I have not given a view, but the reason is that you have now started so many different threads that I cannot keep up with your story.

I will try and find the time to go through them all and post an answer, but tbh, you might want to think about keeping everything in one place - no one here cares that it is not in the "right" section.

Amanda

I am not a solicitor, but will give you my perspective on this issue.

In the first instance it is ultimately the PWC who controls the level of contact with the children purely as she/he can choose to be available or not as the case maybe.

It is obviously best to sort contact between yourselves, or if this is not possible through mediation or even using your solicitors as go betweens.

Depending on the age of the children will depend on how much input they should have in when they wish to see you. Children above the age of about 10 years old in some cases tend to talk with their feet and they themselves can be instrumental in whether to see or not to see the NRP (not always the father).

It is hoped that matters will be resolved before having to apply to the courts for contact to be sorted out. As a general rule a judge prefers to give no order as statistics show that orders are not greatly adhered to and cause further angst between parents.

There are several orders that can be granted concerning children; in your case you would probably be looking at a Defined Contact Order. This sets out conditions such as time and duration and possibly behaviours that are expected of the parents. For example, our order states that my ex-husband is not to drink alcohol 8 hrs prior to and during a contact session and that he should not swear at the children or take them into any gambling establishments.

It may stipulate that the children are to be returned on time if previously this has not happened. CAFCASS were not involved in our case but depending on reasons surrounding the application and whether contact has been witheld for a period of time etc. they maybe asked to get involved.

There are some links that I will find of things that maybe worth reading and also the Children's Legal Service that it maybe worth calling.

It is said in the Children's Act that contact with a parent or significant family member is the right of the child and what is in their best interests (not the interests of the parent).

Also it has to be remembered, a PWC can be ordered by the court to make the child available for contact with the NRP and can be penalised for not adhering to this but one cannot force a NRP to have contact with their child.

Will search out the links I mentioned later and will add them to the post.

Hope this, although not a legal input has given you some idea.

Regards, Sarah