Feeling Low and Depressed

Sikon

I think the only thing u can do at the moment is take things one day, even one hour at a time.

U have the GP to c tomorrow and it's really important u keep that appointment and be totally honest about how desperate u r feeling.

U really must not contact your wife or her sister or break any other bail conditions,hard as that will be;breaking that will just make things even worse.

Once you've seen your GP could u get away for a few days, go and stay with family or friends, just to give u some space in a different environment.Your GP will prob give u some suggestions too.

Remember, baby steps and take care of u

Scared x

I have hit my lowest point so far now and i am hurting so much. I just want to lock myself away and give up to temptation.
I miss my kids dearly and family life in general, it is so so lonely being pushed out and away.
I cant focus at the moment, everything is tumbling down on me, i didnt think it could get this bad.

Sikon

Please,please,please do not give in to those feelings of temptation.

What u r going thru is really tough and will feel insurmountable at the moment but do u know what U CAN DO IT.

Think of your precious children and your wife, do u want to put them thru more pain? There is not an easy way to deal with this and although at the moment u feel like running away, imagine never seeing your childrens faces again.

Sorry if this seems harsh, but u can make the choice and decide to fight to eventually regain the trust and access to your family. None of us has a crystal ball to see into the future but only u can make the choice to be around to c it and be part of it.

Be strong, even just enough to get u thru the night and to that doctors tomorrow and let me know how u get on.

Thinking of u

Scared x

Well another bad day today, didnt sleep much, havent eaten for two days, woke up feeling even more depressed and upset.

Went to see doc, didnt help much realy, but put me forward to a councillor, give that a try.

Went to work but had to come home, i cant concentrate, i cant focus, i am just in a day dream most of the time. I found myself just crying for no reason at the traffic lights.

I am seeing my kids tonight for a couple of hours, might brighten up my day for a few hours at least, i have so much i want to say to them but dont feel its fair to say wot i would like to.

i just cant seem to do anything at the moment, my mind and body arent working together, they are doing seperate things, i know i need to pull myself round but i am finding it impossible, i have no motivation at all, i want to sleep but i cant, i want to eat but i cant, i want to talk to people but i cant. i am just existing at the moment dead inside.

Hi sikon

Good to hear u gonna get some counselling, hope that comes thru soon.

Even tho u feel like u can't eat or sleep your body will need some nourishment and rest, especially if u want to enjoy your time with the kids tonight.Focus on the fact that u r trying for them, maybe have some soup or some porridge and then just rest,even if u don't sleep.

Watch summit really boring on tv, flick thru a paper or magazine, put the radio on quietly;anything really to distract your mind for a bit whilst your body has a break.

If your mind keeps wandering think of what games u can play tonight with the kids, even almost count down the hours til u see them.

Hope u have fun tonight, it will make them look forward to the next time.

Big hugs hun....
Scared x x

well was a better end to the day, have had my kids for a few hours and it was great, realy good to see them, so at least i have a good ending to the day, probably back to normal tomorrow, but at least i have next time to look forward to.
We had a good talk too which was good at least they now see my side of things a little bit clearer.
Maybe i can eat now will try a pizza

Sikon
I'm so pleased went well for u tonight.
Tomorrow is another day as u say u will have next time to look forward to and so will the kids.
Yes try and eat if u can't manage a pizza even a bowl of cereal ( oops don't want sound patronising).
Sleep well
Scared x x