Divorce - financial settlement

Hi, reading lost of stuff yesterday helped a lot, so I decided to join. In short - my ex had an affair for a long time, I asked him to leave which he did. He lives with his parents now but should move in a rented flat with his new partner in two weeks. I am going through a lot of pain like everybody in this situation but I know this is the end of my marriage and my complete family. Still cannot talk to him or see him so older son took over the role of the representative of myself and his brother in communicating with him.
I am reading all possible information on the financial settlement. I believe that he is going to prefer to do agreement between us without involving the solicitors. I am happy about that but want to know what I am and what the boys are entitled to. He earns 50k I am on 20k. We have a little house with 39k mortgage.He has no savings but some debts on his credit cards. He has quite a good pension too.
Both boys plan to go to university. I am a few years older than him and was recently diagnosed with an incurable decease which could stop me working any time but which could also go into remission - so my future is very insecure. Is there anybody who could advice on the last two points - how is the financial settlement affected by the age and health. Also, does he have to support the boys while they are at universtity?

I realise you are going through a very difficult time and my heart goes out to you but how old are your sons? It seems a very large and difficult burden to put on a child's shoulders if he is having to play 'piggy in the middle' between the two of you. However hurt and upset he is now, in the long run he may want to have a relationship with his father and this may hinder that. If you can't contact your husband directly, is there not another adult who could be relied on?

sementa,
I am truly sorry to see you in this predicament.I want to welcome you,I cannot help you but I am sure that someone will come along who will be able to.I would tell you to be very careful ,what start amicably can very easily turn to your disadvantage.Join chat it does help.
take care

sementa,

welcome to wiki. You will find help and support here.

Your age and health will indeed be relevant to the financial settlement. Have a search on the site for Secion 25 of the Matrimonial Causes Act - that sets out what is taken into account when deciding what is fair.

If you can give us a little more information about yourself - respectives ages, length of marriage (and any cohabitation), respective salaries, equity in house, and other assets - savings, endowments etc, joint debts, pension values - do you have a CETV for his pension - and type of scheme, we will be able to give you a clearer idea of what you may be able to expect from a settlement.

I too am worried about your son having to be too involved in all this ... please try to find a way to sort this out without him having to take on this role....

very best wishes

HAdenoughnow

Sorry I cannot give any advice on the financial and legal side. Reading your post my advice is to take care of yourself, you are embarking on a very stressful process and if you have a serious health problem it is very important to protect yourself from as much distress as possible. Please get help with the stress. Go to your doctors, get a counsellor, get addicted to Wicki etc. Make sure you leave time to 'pamper' yourself too, massages, pedicures anything..

Take care
Yummy

My older son is nearly 18 and unlike me he is able to talk to him civilly about any arrangements that need to be done (financial contributions to their trips, taking them to various destinations by car, because I don't drive etc.). He decided to do it himself, as a result of his father leaving us the first time a year ago, when he used to send me very hurtful text messages and e-mails. His father is very careful around him wheras with me he is very manipulative, threatening and dishonest.

Thank you very much, I will try to put that information together.