Still in shock, and it hurts

Hello to everyone, this is my first post. I never, ever thought I would be in this situation, but I realise that many other people are as well, and they must be hurting too.
We have been married for 23years (anniv today!!) and have two wonderful children, aged 17 and 11. My husband and I have been through so much together, and have had counselling in the past, but, as both our parents' marriages were very stormy, we felt that we could always talk and work things out. Things have been a little strained for the past week or so, but no arguing as such. He commutes 50miles to work & back each day, which must be so draining, and I thought he was weary and needed some time to de-stress maybe. However a few nights ago, I kept asking what was wrong, and eventually he told me that he no longer loved me, and wanted to leave me. I did suggest working things out before he actually said he didn't love me anymore, but he just wasn't interested in trying to save our long marriage.To say that I am devastated would be an understatement, but I realise that there is no more I can do, he has made up his mind. I am in a dark place at the moment, I cry alot, am awake all night, struggle to eat etc etc. I have absolutely no idea how to go about a separation/divorce etc and am very scared. My husband and 11yr old son have been away on a canoe/camping trip for the weekend, but will be back tomorrow and I am dreading seeing my husband again - I just can't cope with it. Am also very worried about how the children will take it.
Thank you for reading all this.

Hi shadow. Sorry to read about your situation.

Welcome to wiki tho, there are many of us here who can relate to your situation and how you are feeling. It's a horrible thing to happen. Have a browse thru some of the forum posts and you'll see how other people have reacted to this and how they have coped with it and got through it as best they can. Your emotions are very raw at the moment and it probably all seems so much to cope with, but keep calling back here, there is plenty of support for you and plenty of people to talk to about things. Join in the chatroom when you're up to it too.

Wiki got me through a lot of bad times and it/we will be here for you too

Take care

Sun
x

As Sun says a horrible thing to happen. Sadly you are not alone by any stretch of the imagination. Plenty of people here who are going and have been through it. Take care and ask/tell what ever you feel like. The feelings/emotions will go bananas it is perfectly normal.
Good luck

hey shadow, Im new here too..just my first post yesturday, i have already found amzing people here that are going through or have been through very simular things..(which is absolutly awfull) Its nice to know there is a community of support here and that you're not alone. I fully understand the hurt and pain of not being able to function, as Im going through it right now myself.
day by day Im sure we can all get through somehow...
I wish you streghth during this horific time......keep posting...
I also hope you find the support you need right here at Wki

Hi Shadow

It is a rather daunting place to find yourself, I too was told I was no longer wanted, that I'd given her nothing to love. Well I wish she'd been as considerate as you, and tried to see things from my point of view (long-ish daily M62 commute, working late/away/stressful job)

Keep remembering, that you haven't done anything wrong, and rightly or wrongly, he has made this decision, one he may even regret. I'm three months in, and still coming to terms with it, but I am still alive.

I know all about the crying/sleeping/eating stuff, that does get better, honest.

Finding this site, and the good people on it is a positive step, as the support has proved invaluable for me, and should hopefully for you.

I think some of my friends are ready to shoot me if they hear about what's going on in my life again, and this is where the blog comes in. You can write (rant) what you want, you may get replies, you may not, but better out than in.

Please do take care of yourself.

Heath

Hi shadow

So sorry you’re hurting so much right now and I understand where you are right now. You’re on the emotional rollercoaster that none of us wanted to get on. I bet you’ve got that constant knot in your stomach and cant concentrate on anything but what is happening to you.

Its a very hard road but talk with some of us who have been here a short while and you will see we all arrive here in a bad way but things do get better. It’s a very slow process and we all still have our down days but you too will start to cope and eventually get through this.

We are here to help you

Sending you a (((((((((((hug))))))))))

Jude x

Thank you so very much to all of you - your words mean alot to me at the moment. I know that you too are hurting, but you still find time for other people.
I do feel guilty, maybe I have been selfish, but I just wish he had asked earlier to talk, instead of just rejecting me point blank. Sorry guys, having a really bad day here.