hello everyone and help me

Hi, I am sorry to hear of your situation.
The signs all look good though. You are both still communicating.

I completely agree with Dadsrus. The Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus is great. It is on CD so you can listen to it at home or in the car. It explains a lot, including why your wife needs this time on her own. From a woman's perspective, she will chill and be all the better for it. Trust me. And your respect for her not to just jump on the plane is commendable, she may well have time to miss you too.

Like cindygirl suggests, keep yourself busy. Maybe you feel so bad because this is a grieving, a saying good bye to the old you? Citilapram tablets helped me. I took them for about 6 months, they take a while to take effect though.

I really hope things work out for you.
x

i had a relly bad day yesterday
i took my 20mg of citalopram and it really had no effect..so i topped it up with x 2 diazapam a few hours later.
Again still no effect realy in a bad way, a few hours later i took a pill my daughter gave me clomethiazole 192mg by this time it evening and i was drinking a glass of red wine.

And thats all i can really remember other then waking up on the floor on some strange bed i had made in the front room and waking at aroud 6am and going to sleep in the spare bedroom..i woke aroud 8am and slowly came back down to earth.. feel like i have just had flu..in effect i accidently spiked myself.

I dont remember talking on the phone to my wife last night but i did and was rambling like an idiot.

I have now upset her and she is angry with me.

I have explained what happened and apoligised but she is very angry.

What a pratt i am

Hi Billy, i guess we all want to block out our brains & our feelings at times like thia but it really doesn't help. the problems are still there when you wake up & like you say, it upset your wife. You must stick to your medication as prescribed and if you must drink don't go mad whilst taking it. I expect your wife was worried that you had overdosed, which isnt good if you're trying to show her you've changed & can be a better husband.
You have to try to stay strong until she returns home, i know its hard, we've all been through the agony but posting & ranting here helps a lot, so something constructive & pass the time away that way.
We are here for you,
Cindy

Billy, Sorry to hear of your situation, I am almost in the same position but a few weeks further down the line.

I can fully understand what you are going through and what you are thinking. I too am desperate for my wife to allow me back into her life fully again. She wants space and time to sort her head out and I want to fix it now!.

Truth is, and I have a problem accepting this as well, they really DO need the space and time. We can't press a 'fix it' button on them anywhere.

I have found that talking about general 'how was your day' things a lot easier for my wife to take. I have made a few cock-ups by trying to get inside her head and sort it for her. It wont work. Trust me on that one!.

I was a drinker in the evenings and I mean every evening. That is the main reason we are apart now. I have stopped all that, did it the day she left. I have also a new job (which is good, but I would feel better if she were here to share it with me

Try NEVER to phone or contact your wife when you are on pills or drink. You will only make things worse as your emotions will take over completely. ~I see you've found that out the hard way. (she'll forgive you for that if you remain good)

My wife goes away for a week at the end of the month and I'm not loking forward to that, but we both need to think of them and not us.

If your sitch follows mine, there will be a lot of ups and downs between you yet. Just try not to read ANYTHING inot what she says. She probably doesn't really mean 10% of what she says, but she sure 'feels' it now.
Hang in there Billy, where there is a will there is a way.

thanks for your advise i will hang on in there, but i am alone 24/7 with no family to help me. My wife is my family.

I get desperatly lonely and very down, i went to the doctors tonight as arranged a few days ago and told him of my accidental spiking myself...his words were a similar mixture killed Keith Moon of the Who.
Had i any idea how stong those pills were i would and now have chucked them in the bin.
I made a total pratt of myself and was not even aware i was doing it i remember almost nothing since yesterday evening and this morning.

I spoke to my wife briefly this afternoon and she is very cross at the things i said.

Just hope she will allow me this one slip up in a month

billy

He wont up the dosage of my pills (20mg) just yet but will see me next week

Billy

I am in no position to tell you what you should do re: taking pills to make it go away or feel less bad, but you know it is not the answer.....

Stay off the booze, go for a walk, listen to music, plan your day out, so you don’t have to just sit around, fill your time, phone a friend contact an old one, do some exercise, eat healthy things, do just about anything to make you feel better about yourself.

I did these things, I have a check list, and I found that if I did them regularly (every day), I felt less bad, one day at a time

Take care

GM

hi all

spoke to me wife tonight
i am flying out to cyprus today 10th at 17.10
she dont want me to but did not put up much of a fight in a womans way...as in i dont want you to come over in a soft rather then harsh voice.
And said to you are coming anyway arnt you...yes i said

well its a small step
i intend to be on best behaviour not crap her space and not push anything..just so excited to be seeing her..even if i do sleep on the futon.....wish me luck guys..will keep you posted got me lap top wiv me

billy