Very New

lucie

If you post more details. I think on the main forum Divorcelawyer has posted some links.

You will need to give us more information though.

How old are the children
how old are you /husband
earnings
pensions
mortgages
value of house

There are many factors that are taken into account.

zara

Hello Sera

My children are grown up, living away from home. My husband has had a go at me for involving them, I told him I have no-one else close to me who I can confide in. He has accused me of turning them away from him, I told him they are old enough to make their own minds up, they don't want anything to do with her, they certainly don't want to meet her as he thought they would. Their words are "we would feel uncomfortable"

He seems to have lost his senses, I can't get a sensible answer from him, it is all for her.

Lucie

lucie wrote:

He seems to have lost his senses, I can't get a sensible answer from him, it is all for her.

Mine had also: then he puts in for divorce suggesting that I "intimidated him to thinking that he was mentally ill"

gotta laugh now

OK: So it's very early days. If he's moved out; then (for now) his housing needs are met; and you should stay put in your home until the divorce process kicks in. Don't be panicking about losing your home yet.

The process (from filing) may take around 18 months - two years to resolve.

After such a long marriage; you could almost expect at least 50%-50%; Pensions security etc possibly more - depending on equity, incomes, savings etc.

For now worry about getting through each day; talking to who-the-hell you want to! (it's not like the kids are five or six!)He's obviously just trying to hide his guilt from them.

Hi lucie. Sorry to hear your tale. You don't need to feel alone, because you're not. We have all gone through something similar and can all relate to what you say. Log on to wiki and join in the forum or even venture into chat. Anything we can do to help we will

Take care

Hi Lucy

I am in a similar situation, I new my wife of 25 years was having an unacceptable relationship with a married man and I chose to ignore it for 2 years. Went into denial, developed deep depression, thought my world was coming to an end. I new what I had to do but just could not force myself to do it. After joining this community and speaking to people in a very similar situation I suddenly woke up to reality and started divorce proceedings.
We both expect to loose our home (the cost of re-mortgage is unacceptable). All I can say is that some how you will get through it all. I feel much more confident now that I have filed for divorce for her unreasonable behavior. It came as a shock to her she did not think that I would do it and now she is realising what damage she has done.In spite of everything, I can hold my head up high, I am not the one who broke our wedding vows.
Just like your husband, my wife did not want me to speak to anyone about it and she refused to tell anyone, not even her closest relations or friends. She was afraid of people finding out the truth and seeing her in her true colours.

Stay strong and keep your head up.

Hi Lucie, welcome to Wikki. How awful after 38 yrs of marriage!! Why are you so sure you will lose your home, have you seen a Sol yourself? He has to prove you have cash stacked away surely? You are in the right place here, everyone will try to help you through this. Do you have family or friends you can talk to?
You need all the support you can get right now, keep posting & read others posts too, you will learn so much,
Cindy

I am so pleased I have started to post on here, I have read it for ages, but never joined in.

I suppose it's because i have at a last accepted the inevitable, but every time I think I am ok, I seem to have a very bad day, like yesterday, then I seem to be back to square 1.

The problem is, because of the location of it I have my nose rubbed in it every day, my husband is so insensitive, this is what hurts so much, it's been a year now, and he won't move out
Lucie