Hello - this is my story! Long.

Sorry but think you are living in a dream world if you think this is going to have a happy ending for all parties.

How can it? There are so many ''what if questions''

Don't you think your son already supects something? and if the answer is yes, why not just part now and start new lives with your new partners as from what you have said you still maybe talking to each other if you did.

Your new girlfriend know you still share a bed with your wife?

This is quite weird and I dont know if i should laugh or cry?

I'm with phoenix on this one - your activities seem deeply disrespectful to both your son and your girlfriend.

Disrespectful to your son's intelligence and just disrespectful to your girlfriend full stop. You've made it quite clear that she just has to put up with your decision if you and your wife are happy with it, regardless of how she feels.... If she has any respect for herself she'll be heading in the opposite direction as fast as she can. If you think so little of her feelings now, why would you be different in the future?

You're either married or you're not, much better to sort it out now before anyone else gets hurt...

I do not agree entirely with phoenix1 or Ephelia but can see there view points. It cannot go on indefinately.

There are many families that exist with a mistress in the mix (or the opposite) for that matter. In some cases it is the right choice. I would not want to be in one. I don't think sharing a room with your wife is a good thing either. You should not be or even seen to be together in that way (you know what I mean.)

If you both really cannot face being honest with your son at this time, then move to a different room and tell him it is because you snore. I don't see that one more lie is going to compound the situation.

Some divorced couples continue to share a home for finacial reasons. Some divorced people move in with a friend (of either gender.) I look at your situation in that light and see you and your wife as friends rather than spouses.

Your priorities should be (in order) your son, your wife, your gf and then you. Your son has no say, he is a minor and entitled to the best that the parties can offer (this includes your gf.) Your wife has accepted the situation and has been a willing participant. She needs to think about letting go. GF knew what she was getting into, if she is the one, she will wait and tell you to put your son first, but you owe it to her to make it as pallatible as possible (get the 'h' out of the matrimonial bedroom!) Sorry mate, you are last in the 'happiness lottery' because you have the ability to decide who will and who won't be happy.

Might be way off the mark here, but here's my read on the situation.

You don't actually want to split up with your wife!

She made the move to start dating others and did so quickly. Bang - dent to the male ego. You thought if she can do it then so can I. So you found someone who showed you affection. Having not got the attention at home you enjoy it and it massaged your own ego. Understandable given the situation.

You question whether your wife is serious about her boyfriend. Why? If you are serious about your girlfriend then your wife's actions should be irrelevant. Maybe you're clinging to both because you're not sure who you want? Are the questions about the house and finances just excuses to delay making a decision?

The path you have chosen is fraught with danger and hurt for all the parties involved and while I wish you well whatever your choose I don't think your girlfriend will stick around while you choose what you want.

Have you really talked to your wife? Hsve you sought professional help? Try it. You might find it helps.

Some interesting different perspectives here - which is why I posted so openly and honestly as I need to hear them!

I won't comment on the specific alternative viewpoints until I've had a chance to digest and reflect...although, at the moment, perrypower's observations are much closer to my views at this time.

It is the bed issue that bugs me most, because I know my g/f deeply does not like that...I acknowledge that by not doing anything about it I am being selfish and taking the easy option at the expense of her.

{As an aside, I used to snore badly and frequently slept in the spare room - losing 3 stone and sorting out my high blood pressure has fixed that, and my son knows it. There goes an excuse to sleep elsewhere lol}

Hello all, I thought it time to add my bit.. I am the aforementioned G/F . It is not strictly true that I knew what I was getting into, as I was under the impression that they were separated but still living in the same house for the sake of their son and if they met someone they wanted to be with they would face that when it happened. (which I guess is what is happening now) Admittedly I don't think that either of us expected to find ourselves falling in love with each other like we have. I cannot even start to think that this situation will still be the same two years down the line. The way it has moved so quickly I do not think that could possibly be the case.
Sleeping (and I know that is all it is) in the same bed is extremely difficult for me to cope with, but what is the point of constantly airing my views when all that I am likely to achieve it to force Tim to lie to me about it. We have no secrets now and that is how I want it to remain. He has seen how it upsets me and I have said to him that it looks like they are both saying "sod Jane and Phils(wifes b/f) feelings we'll do what we want" I think that if they wanted to they would think of a way of having separate rooms, after all they have the space- and I think that the son would accept it.. but as I have been told before, their bed is more comfy !! (so is mine !!)I know I wouldn't want to be naked next to someone I didn't want to be with anymore.
Their son, is not stupid, and I hope that he doesn't get more upset learning that they have been living a lie and telling him fibs for however long it will be. I am looking forward to meeting him and including him in things with my boys.
ok.. where's the send button before I change my mind about posting..........

Janey and Tim....It would appear it is time that you talked.

Good luck
Amanda