hello from the confused and desolute

Thank you JB for your advice. Have made a note of the web site.
If a golden retriever can become difficult to handle what chance have I got!
Daughters dog is a staffordshire terrier. Does not seem to be behaving like a guard dog at the mo, but who knows. Is 10 weeks. Will keep posting. x

Its nice to see someone who is trying to put the kids first rather than their personal feelings.

I would love my stbx making the same proposals as yourself. Funnily our mortgage is the same per month, which I myself can not afford on my own.

I would love to stay within the house mainly for my son's benefit (from a previous relationship, so not really his problem), as we moved just over a year ago, which he had to change schools. He has made so many new friends, vastly improved in school and the area we live within is so child friendly. I would happily offer to pay a sum towards the mortgage to stay here but I know he would not agree, how could you put it politely playing very awkward and trying to still control me. Initially he offered to maintain the mortgage but promptly closed his bank account and never sorted the matter. Not even one payment made. I have made contributions to the mortgage company of £500 pcm to prevent repossession for the moment. I have therefore decided to cut my losses and move on in life. Yes intially starting in social housing so I adjust and to be honest change my life. We have a 5 month old daughter and I feel it has given me an opportunity to change my career. I want to stay at home with the children and look into a career where I can work from home.

I'm dreading the move as my son hates me for it but I have little options.

had a good talk with stbx, i think a lot of her problems are nievatity or perhaps she is just plain mad.
Shes waiting for the sol to confirm to her that she is jiontly responsible for the jiont named mortgage:silly:

ive really taken time with her trying to explain that yes she is, if i stop paying the mortgage they chase both of Us:blush:

i think she may have finally gotten the idea that my proposal isnt that bad, its just a shame that her solicitor hasnt thought to actually explain what im offering to her, just pointing her to mediation.

In my job i have to 'treat customers fairly' why is it divorce lawyers want to push things as far round the houses as possible, is it just for the fees??? ( no offence to any proffesonally nice lawyers here)

i give clients the option of doing some of the work for themselves to actually save on my fees why wont the sols do the same thing??

At least stbx has now said she does want to stay in the house with the kids, i really thought she wanted to go down the 'wo is me' arent i had done by in this council flat martyr, route .

At least we have had a sensible conversation today

rich

Hi JB

Well at least you have been talking.

As far as the liability for paying the mortgage is concerned, all you will have to do is show her the mortgage documentation which should have been received by you both on completion of the mortgage. This states, or should state,that you ARE BOTH jointly responsible for this.

I think perhaps your wife is going to be duped into thinking that the solicitor will do it all for her, and not charge? If she relies on her solicitor to point out matters of fact she is going to incur a MASSIVE bill.

If you are still able to sit and talk I would suggest that perhaps you should both agree to keep it all as amicable as possible. Not always possible, as you said,when solicitors eventually get their teeth into it it all can go horribly wrong.

Good luck

Perhaps i was insane myself, my thoughts were, agree a financial settlement and get her to take it to a lawyer to advise her if it was fair.

i was happy to spoon feed her the divorce and suggested we sit down and do all the paper work together, eg both the form Es, all the paperwork is in the FMH so why not both sit down and get it all correct together:laugh:

get the agreement and form Es re checked by hers and id get a friendly matrominial to have a quick squint at mine over a pint, then march off to court pay the fees and file all the papers.

Thats my version of an Amicable divorce, total legal costs £300 and a pint of theakstons plus the court fees.

Am i mad??

JB

its a sort of acceptance, plus i want to get on with my life, do as much as possible to keep the kids ok, and as happy as can be expected given the situation.

Im financially screwed anyway i just dont need a lawyer trying to poor sand into the lubricant:laugh:

JBB

No, not at all JB, I do not think you are mad at all.
The simpler, quicker and less painless the better.

Unfortunately you could have presented an agreement which would have been the best for both of you, but, a solicitor could always find something to quibble about,especially if their client allows them too.

The agreement will of course have to be fair to both parties, and if something was inclined to disadvantage one party, then it would be understandable for it to be questioned and dealt with.

Perhaps you could make your wife aware of some of the posts on here. Some have had solicitors bills for £40k.!!!
She has the opportunity to keep a huge chunk of money, or give it to her solicitor.

zara