Is there any hope?

Dear Peoples,

I am desparate and need somehelp and advice.
My ex-partner left me (in the UK) some 5 years ago and returned to her home town in Italy. My child (7yrs old) was born in Italy and moved to the UK before UK recognised non-married parents having equal rights. I cannot afford the money nor time off work to see my child monthly. I go four or five times a year. I go on her terms, when she allows it. My relationship with my son is different to what i dreamt it would be. He is not as close to me as I would hope and I am sure he does not feel the warmth and security he has with is mother. The separation from my son is tearing me to pieces day by day. Even when we are together communication is limited as their is a language problem too. I am taking 2 Italian classes a week. However I am not sure I will ever be able to communicate my thoughts and feelings anywhere near as well as in English.

She has stopped coming over to the Uk and my parents haven't seen my boy in 3 yrs. They are old and not very good travellers.

I read somewhere that I may be able to force her to return to the UK according to the Hague Convention. Though I dont want to interfere in her life or disrupt my boy's life, I feel it is very important to him and me that some regular contact is maintained. Her parents advise her to return to the UK where they would be well looked after but she refuses.

I have read some stories here and thank everyone for their honesty and advice.

I would appreciate anyone's advice or word of support.

Hello Dharn

I have no intention of stamping where angels fear to tread you need professional advice from a specialist this field, luckily our site barrister is

Divorce laywer (Amanda) runs a surgery from 6pm to 8pm week days in chat its free and she can help.

If you cant make it call the FNLP for a free half hour chat.

Lastly i cant imagine how hard it must be to seperated from your son in this way and i do hope arrangements can be made that are acceptable for all concerned.

This may be of interest think of it as the bare bones but its a start


The principle governing the Hague Convention is that matters concerning the custody of a child are most appropriately decided in the place of the child's habitual residence. The Convention requires that the judicial or administrative authorities in any Convention State to which a child has been removed act without delay to determine whether the child has been wrongly removed from his or her place of habitual residence and, if so, to secure the return thereto. Removal is wrongful if it breaches the applicant parent's custody rights under the laws of the state requesting return.

Under the Hague Convention a case for return must fulfil a number of requirements. The principal ones are:

The child must be under 16 years of age
The child must have been habitually resident in a Convention Country before the removal or retention
The removal or retention of the child must have been wrongful - i.e. in breach of someone's rights of custody which were being exercised, or in breach of a court order.
The abduction must have taken place after the relevant Convention came into force between the UK and the country to which the child has been taken.
The child must now be in a Hague Convention country.
The purpose of the European Convention is to enforce orders relating to custody where a child has been kept or taken overseas in breach of those orders, and to enforce orders relating to access. The scope of this Convention is much narrower than the Hague Convention.

Under the European Convention a case for return must fulfill a number of requirements. The principal ones are:

The child must be under 16 years of age
There must be an order for custody or access
The European Convention must be in force between the UK and the country to which the child has been taken
The child must now be in a European Convention country.

Dukey,

Huge thanks for your response. This is the first time I have found some relevant information and you words have given me hope.

I am slightly intimidated by the process I would have to go through and I am conscious of the strain any move may to the Uk may have on my son.

To add, when my ex-partner initially left to go to Italy she told me she would return in 1 week. This was quite normal as she would often go to Italy to see her family. One week became 2. Two weeks became 1 month. 1 month has now been 5 years.

I also want to clarify that I don't think the UK recognises my parental rights, as a separated and unmarried. Will this affect my chances?

Hello Darm

I understand you have questions and we all want instant answers, this is a complex part of family law and requires the advive of a specialist in international family law, part of Amandas profile reads as follows,


Although I undertake all work under the family law umbrella, my particular specialism is cases with an international element, such as international divorce, cases where a large proportion of assets are outside the country and applications to remove a child from the jurisdiction.


Tonight between 6-8pm in chat and all will be revealed, once in chat you will be invited into a private room, there are moderators who will explain the process so dont worry if you have never used a chat room before.

My understanding is even if there was 'wrongful removal' the children have habitually lived in Italy now for 5 years so under the Hague Convention they are deemed settled there and the Italian courts would have jurisdiction.

I would suggest contacting Reunite, a charity specialising in child abduction who are also able to offer advice on international contact issues, with a view to increasing contact.
Reunite works closely with the Ministry of Justice, the Foreign & Commonwealth Office and the Home Office. See;

www.reunite.org

To add to what Fiona has said there are a number of clauses


What conditions need to be met?
A. For a return:

Your child is not yet 16 years old
Your child was habitually resident in the country in which you make your application
You have rights of custody *
You were exercising your rights of custody
Your application is made within one year from the date f the removal or retention
You did not consent to the removal or retention of your child
If one of these requirements is not met your child will not be returned under the Convention.

Your application is made within one year from the date of the removal or retention