Heart broken again

Hello All. Having just stumbled accross this site out of pure luck i think it may be exactly what i need right now. Like minded people going through the similar stuff to me.
I will try not to write an essay but will give my background and current situation. I going through my 2nd divorce. First time we were both very young and niave. I have a boy who is now 11 from that first marriage and I see him in the school hols, and talk with him 2 times a week.We are close.
My current marriage which is at nisi stage ended around 9 weeks ago. I'm still in the stages of feeling empty, shocked and distraught. I met my current ex end of 2002, 3 months after seperating from my ex ex...i know it was too early but...
We fell for each other and within a few months had moved into rental accom with her son and her mum. Her mum is full time carer to her son who has special needs. It was hard living with the mother in law but we got on with it. After a few happy years we got married in Jan 05, and in July 06 bought our first property. My parents gave me some inheritance early. Things went wrong 6 months in when my wife told me she didnt know how she felt anymore, and this all boiled down to the fact she wanted a baby. I told her from day one 'no kids'...and she had agreed, but it kept coming up. In the end she bought herself a sports car wanting something for herself...
Time went on and it seemed every time i didnt get attention off her i would buy her something...alot of money was being spent!! We were getting into alot of debt, and she was always off work sick with this and that, sometimes for months at a time meaning i had to get loans to cover her wages...more pressure.. I spent thousands on birthdays and christmas, and still tensions grew. Our sex life was always poor as she told me she had been attacked wheen she was 14 and never got over it.. Biggest issue was her mobile phone which had became such an important thing to her and was being hidden, or taken to bed with her all the time...text, text, text, ...i would ask who is that....she would reply...nobody...it started to play on my mind, espeically as in my first marriage i was cheated on...i started to get paranoid. My mobile bills were being hidden and her credit card bills hidden by her mum. To cut a long story short i found out she had 2 or 3 pay as you go mobiles and was on those sex chat sites, posting naked pics of herself...i forgave her the first time i found out, but things just got worse in terms of me having no trust left...she end our marriage the begining of October and has been living in Gloucester with a bloke ever since, returning a handful of times to see her 12 yr old son who she has left with her retired mum to look after, at our house. I moved out and have been living with parents. House went on the market and my wife has given up work, and placed all her debts with a management agency...she has a fella she is living with and they are 'just friends'...however she is planning on moving her family up there once she returns from our holiday...yes, we had planned and i paid for 2 weeks in florida and she is currently out there with her friend staying in 2 weeks of luxury..she changed the names on the holiday booking..shes not back till 16th Dec...i feel sick..Im struggling to pay all the bills, had to go into an arrangement with the mortgage, who say i face repossession. Ive lost everything, my wife, my best friend, my life, my home, and face being destroyed with reposession...ive never missed a payment on anything in my life...life sucks, and isnt it just great its flaming christmas eh...God knows how long shes known this guy though, and he dont sound too great...didnt even have a passport as had never been abroad, and is unemployed lviing on benefits in housing association accom...i on the other hand have always worked, have a very good jobs, and have always been there to supoport, care love and i guess get taken for a mug...
Hope to hear from some of you soon

Hi

Sorry to hear you are going through this. This is a great place that you have found - alot of support and help.

Hang in there

That is tragic really feel for you.
Don't do it again eh when you get rid of this thing.
all the best
Pete xx

Thankyou both for your replies.
I just feel sick to the pits of my stomach. Having real trouble getting images of them out of my head being in the sunshine on my luxury holiday, laughing smiling, doing the obvious.... Seems reading a few of the posts on here one party always ends up messed up, and other happy as larry. I know its a bitter thing to say but i really hope things go pear shaped for her because she has thrown away so much for this guy, and i just keep trying to work out what on earth (apart from the obvious) can he offer her...
3rd time lucky...no way will i even try that!

Mate,

I feel for you too. Im on my 2nd.

8 days ago, I did a great deed for charity that is getting media recognition.....to be woken the next morning with "Well done yesterday, I want a Divorce. See you downstairs in an hour to discuss what YOU are going to do".

Lifes cruel.

Hallo

you are in a really horrible place at the moment, but things will get better.

Don't torture yourself with thinking what a great time your stbx is having. Picture you doing something fabulous in the future and use it to have something to look forward to.

I do know what you mean about one person being happy and the other not. When I asked my husband for a separation I thought we were both saddened by the end of our relationship, but it turns out he had someone else to move in with and I had to listen to a lot of guff about how he and she were "so compatible" and how he and I could still be friends - till I told him to shut up!

He's now having a lovely time playing Daddy to her small children who are thrilled to have another adult to provide attention.

I'm stuck with our two teenagers who are finding things difficult, in a house I'd love to sell but can't, knowing that all our relationships are different now - got my first Xmas card this morning, from husband's cousin, who doesn't know we've separated. Jolly!

thankyou so much to those who have replied. its good to know im not the only one, and speak with people in the same boat.
I dont see how she is going to be better off but i know its not my problem..it hard when one of you still has feelings but i know ive got to let go...not doing me any good..this new guy apparently doesnt have a job, and has two 3 yr olds one boy and one girl. the girl lives with him so he is her full time carer. He smokes pot, and she has got into that, and i just dont see what on earth he is going to offer her...she is going to have to cope with the realisation of how much i actually did for her...being lonely is the worst thing knowing that she is having fun while im in a world in misery...you know before she flew out to florida she asked me to still be a dad to my boy, because im a good role model...what about her new guy eh...i said it was unfair on the boy because he will see her with him, and then get the odd call from me...will make him confused...she has also never lifted a finger for her own son so how is she going to manage with his young daughter, and hold down a job..if she gets one, and keep the bills paid, and not get sick (which she always did)...a lot of pressure...plus placing all her cc's n debts with a debt management agency means she will be constantly pestered for demands, no credit for 5 years...mmm...i got a text on the 2nd Dec...this is the kind of mug i am...one of her visa cards with money on for the holiday, she lost the pin number for and since it was registered to me she needed to me to ring them and reset it..i did...could of landed her in the poo, but whats the point...she said she threw pin out of the car window stateside..assume they had an argument...never heard from her since, and when she returns i'm not going to talk to her, just text where essential..