My Solicitor says i can do nothing!!

Chances are your entitled to a significant chuck of the equity, and unless she's got a good job she wouldn't be able to buy you out. So she probably knows that as soon as it goes before a judge she loses the house. If this is the case, put yourself in her shoes, what possible reason does she have to agree to a settlement? It seems that your not in need of the equity for your housing so even if you got a MESHER order (which seems to be an I.O.Y registered at the land registry and secured on the property) you will get you money back in the future.

Draft a Consent Order that you'd be happy with (and is reasonable) - speak to people on this web site for advice and maybe use a firm to translate what you want into legalise. Make it clear to her that either you both proceed amicable or you go via the court. Look into mediation which will probably fail if thats how she is, but it will strengthen you if she won't engage.

Another way to force the issue of course would be simply to tell her your moving back in. You don't need to stay every night, but it wouldn't be her's exclusivly anymore (I mena use not ownership). Tell her your remortgageing would also ruffle the feathers.

But also give her a way out, polarising a situation makes you both losers - you just need her to see that its in her best interests to conclude matters.

What money does this woman live on.
Please just tell her you cant afford the mortgage. Whose name is it in, if you have signed over house, and shes on any kind of benefit they have to pay, its an old mortgage and the 1995 rule changes dont apply.
She does not need 4 bedrooms at all.
I am female, but I really hate these women who think its an automatic right to keep the MH.
Good luck and look after new gf

Thanks for replys she wont work cos she wanted legal aid she is going to collage which im told is an easy cop out so she can justify not working and continue to recieve benefits and legal aid, shes been at collage a year now and still doesnt have a job, tho shes doing voluntary work!!!!!im worried if this goes to court i will lose more than the house or they will insist i keep paying mortgage for next 5 years, my relatonship is suffering, im desperate to re-marry and move on but my wife is clever shes seeing councillers and saying she still loves me and cant move on, this is utter rubbish i assure you, shes a woman and i know i will lose out at court, im a prisoner.

I don't see how you can lose out in court. Your wife doesn't not need her housing needs met with a 4 bedroomed house. You are entitled to some of the equity in the house.
Your wife's emotional problems are completely irrelevant to sorting out the finances and divorce.

If it costs £600 to go to court it will surely be cheaper than another 4 years of mortgage repayments on a house you won't benefit from!

Courts aren't unreasonable and I am sure they would expect this house to be sold and the proceeds split between you and your wife fairly.

unfortunatly i earn well, shes not earning at all. i want her to have the house so she doesnt go after my pension, house is worth or was worth before recession approx 150-160 my pension is 90, so she is getting a good deal, i need my pension to pay for my new house which im paying a high mortgage for cos of my age and cos im still paying my wifes mortgage, how can i be sure courts wont say i have to pay her mortgage for next 5 years or pay her maintanance to cover mortgage? im worried if i tip the boat i could lose out. even my own solicitor has told me my hands are tied, i know i appear to be going round in circles but im scared of damaging my new relationship and loosing my own house, courts have made decisions before that defy logic, they wont care about me they will see i earn a lot of money but wont see how much i pay out, nor will they care. they will side with her, we were married 30 years and she has no pension and has an aversion to work, i am in the red i dont have 600 nor anyone i can lend if from to take this to court. can i write them a letter explaining the situation? bet i cant..she has a clever solicitor ny wife doesnt attend meetings with her solicitor and when we ask why at yet more expense to me she says my wife still hasnt come to terms with divorcing me, after 3 years and councilling, i signed a consent order in oct giving her the house as long as she takes my name off mortgage but she hasnt dealt with it yet, can i change my mind after signing it because of her being difficult??? im worried in case they agree with order but then she cant afford mortgage and im left paying mortgage on a house i have no interest in.. its not an easy thing to do and im scared of what could happen!!

You're not trapped. Your situation is not difficult to resolve, and when the MH exceeds the needs of the resident party; it will be ordered to be sold. So the mortgage you pay for four bedrooms, will not exist.

Two other things. She may get a larger slice of equity if she trades off claiming against your Pension. She will soon need a Pension, so she may retain a Lump Sum to afford a one bed home (flat?) and a sum to invest.

She could also retain some spousal support to meet her needs; but since she's re-training at college - you have a strong argument that she can soon gain work. Judges don't make allowence for work-shy folk; regardless of how 'clever' you believe she is. It serves your case well that she is at college.

She is not that clever if she does not yet realise two basic things:

1: The if she gets legal aid she will have to agree to mediation. (Unless you are violent or controlling and this puts her at risk)

2: Legal Aid is a LOAN. The LOAN will be repaid once her settlement is awarded. I believe there's an 8% interest on it, someone feel free to correct me if I'm wrong!?

So if she clocks up £30,000+ on going to a final hearing, she'll realise she's got a big debt to repay.

Where she is clever: is making you believe the situation is not worth resolving, and using stalling tactics, bullying tactics, and using the services of a solicitor to intimidate you away from a fair settlement.

SHE IS NOT GOING TO RETAIN A FOUR BEDROOM HOUSE. Unless there are tons of other assets that can be retained by you.

If I were you - I'd move back in. Force her hand in divorce! (Illegal in marriage - but it works on divorce!!!!)

Look mate you are being strung out and blackmailed by your ex.
There is no blame attached to the financial settlement,I suspect reading between the lines you feel guilty for having an affair.
You need to get this into court and get a decision you will at least get an agreement made within a framework of time.
You need to know how much money you are going to be left with good or bad!
Stop trying to imaginarily control the situation,you are not in control and the more you are wriggling the more you're getting yourself into a mess.
You will just have to tell your new woman I'm going to court to get this resolvedi can't see that splitting £160k equity on a house and a £90k pension fund can go that badly for you personally you'll be better off.
You may get hit for some spousal maintenance but surely it's better to go forward with a clean sheet and past finances resolved think you need to take a deep breath and get it done and stop being afraid.