recently separated (not married) - lots of issues

Not sure where to start. partner and I separated sept 08. have daughter (9) and I have a son from previous relationship (14) who my partner brought up as his own for the 12 years we were together.
Ex blames my son for break up and he and his family have no contact with him (not even birthday card).
Ex has met someone else (I suspect before separation) - told my daughter to tell me!!
Insists that he is entitled to 50% of equity in our home (I have paid everything since we split.
Tries to undermine me and make me the bad guy to our daughter and spoils her in a way he never did when we were together.
Finding it difficult to cope - was getting there until found out someone else involved now back to rockbottom.I keep thinking he will try and get custody (getting paranoid!!).
any advice welcome - sorry to go on. I will finish here although I could go on and on and on.

Hi there

Is your house in joint names?
Have you contributed equally?
Is there a declaration of trust?
Did you have an agreement at the outset about the house and if so what was it?

Amanda

Thanks for replying

House is in joint names and we contributed equally until sept 08.

No declaration of trust - just bought house in joint names with mortgage in joint names. I now pay everything. How is equity divided if I choose to remain in the home until my daughter is 18 - would former partner be entitled to 50% of current equity or 50% of equity in 9 years time.

Hope that makes sense - find all this a bit confusing and do not want to involve solicitor at present as this would probably make situation even more difficult. Just need to be in possession of the facts before making any decisions

advice re property still welcome

any thoughts re: ex partner texting daughter re access rather than contacting me to make arrangements would be welcome
I feel a lot of pressure being placed on a young child - I have never and never will stop my daughter having contact with her father but she does not want to stay overnight at the moment although I am sure in time she will when she is ready. Am I being unreasonable in asking ex partner to make arrangements with me rather than via my daughter - - she is also being pressured by his family as to why she does not stay over. This is her wish at the moment -should she want to stay overnight with her dad in the future I will not stand in her way providing it is not on a school day as this would prove very disruptive at present. One of her friends puts up with this sort of arrangement and I have yet to meet a more unhappy little girl. Any reassurance or advice would be very welcome

Hi
As you were not married it is unlikely you wil get to keep the home and pay him out later - your only route in that regard is a Schedule 1 Children Act claim, and houses are only handed over in the bigger money cases.

Dealing with the house today, it is a straight forward 50:50 division in those circumstances.

Re you paying everything since the split, you do not get any credit for that - you pay for his share as you are using his half of the house. He can apply to get his share now, and if you force it to court, you are likely to lose, and in these cases that means you also end up paying his legal costs out of your share, as costs follow the event in co-hab cases.

Sorry I do not have any better news for you.

Amanda

Hi Amanda

Just jumping into this thread as my circumstances are similar. Below is an extract from the library:


Not married or not civil partnered

The following general rules apply:

1) If you alone paid for something, it belongs to you.
2) If you bought something together, without distinguishing shares, you own it jointly.
3) If you bought something and your contributions were unequal then your share in it will be equal to the contribution you made.

Reading this, it seems to me that points 2 and 3 are contraditory. Could someone who has bought a house with a partner, but put in 90K deposit against his nil, not use point 3 as their argument against a straight 50/50 split.

In my case I am more than happy to share the increase in equity, but would be devastated if he got his hands on my 90K bearing in mind he has left me with two small children to support and house.

Thanks

Bevs

Hi Bevs... I dunno who wrote that in the library, but it wasnt me , and it certainly isnt that simple.

Were you not married either?

Amanda