Dont make same mistake I did

Nope neither am I but your post made me smile
Cheers

hi tango

your post make my heart squeeze...it is terrible. but u need to just take baby steps now. concentrate on the job you are starting...with a job come financial independance, the opportunity to socialise etc.... you will be able to rebuild ur life back.

and hopefully your son and family will come around when they see you being strong and taking care of urself.

best of luck!!
claudette

I know you're right I don't know really what is the matter with me today. I just feel out of sorts and I know it can only get better. I just feel that I've gone from one mess to another now and at this particular moment I don't know which one was worse. I know tomorrow I'll feel different I'm sure but because of everything he did for me I never expected to miss him so much and if anyone even had an inkling of that it would be the end so I can't even talk about how I feel. I just feel that I'm going aroung outting on an act pretending it doesn't hurt cos they don't understand how I'm not thrilled to be away from it all. I just feel that I gave up my family for him and now I've given up him too but still don't have my family so now I've got no one and I keep getting reminded that I'm the one who did it so its your mess deal with it.

then stop pretending that it does not hurt...because we all know it does!!!

i think u should be a bit easy on yourself tango. you have been through alot - you are going to need time to recover and heal. and that can be a long process. start with baby steps....and take one day at a time. that does really help.

and it is not productive for you now, to overload urself with guilt. now u need tojust look forward....not back.. its hard, but you can do it!!!

claudette x

Wow, that`s a shocking story, it`s already been said but you need to relax a bit and don`t feel guilty about the way you feel, accepting the way you feel is 90% of the way to deal with it.
Starting a new job is a great way to move forward, little steps in the right direction all add up and although each one feels like climbing mount everest , with your ex on your back, one day you will realise that they have all heped you to get through.
The situation with your son must feel awful my heart goes out to you but he has been hurt beyond comprehension and has been subjected to all the pain and bitterness from your family when you were away, i`ll reitterate the advice you have already been given, never stop saying sorry and keep telling him you love him and want him, you are his mum and if you do the right things it will repair the situation but not overnight.
Take good care of yourself and the best of luck in your new job

Tango,

Its a hard road you have in front of you and your present pain will feel intolerable...but its a haeder road you are leaving behind. You will gain strength as time passes and you settle into your new job...good luck with that.

The separation from our children is an almost intolerable pain...please never give up trying to reach your son....I almost did and would have missed out in the joy I have now that I am building bridges with 2 of our sons.

If you ever need to offload/chat, feel free to pm me.

Elle x

Tango, my heart goes out to you.

Firstly you are not to blame for what has happened to you, your father or anything else. We are all human and learn from mistakes. Hindsight is a wonderful thing, only when you are living in the situation do you know how hard it can be to leave.

You are better off coming back. Concentrate on your new job, making friends and building a relationship with your son. In time he will understand how much you love him.

You are brave and courageous. I went through an abusive marriage and had to deal with my daughter holding me responsible for her dad moving out. She still loves him but doesn't blame me anymore and realises it was tough for me.

Take care xx