Joolee, I believe you have had the best advice on here re finances, and will do your best to get this sorted. I am writing re the feelings you have expressed.
I first visited your profile to learn a little more about you, but all it said was that you are male. Whether you are in a gay relationship is not the issue, I was trying to find out how long ago he left his wife, whether you were the reason he did so, and any more background that could help me with your dilemma which is suspicion and jealousy on top of the financial difficulties you are both facing.
When my ex first left me, he lived a double life, on one side keeping me as insurance whilst lying to ow as well as me. If she had heard the things he said to me, after I had found out about her, she would have been horrified, angry as well as mortified - he told me I was far more beautiful, (the first such compliment in over 10 years) that she was just for sex and convenience, that she was intellectually stultifying, oh my but it went on. And guess what, when I had the opportunity to, I made sure I told her. Of course she didn''t believe me, his lies were far more welcome to her ears than the ex harridan''s truth. In terms of keeping her new man, she played it just right, being the poor sweet victim, whilst I was the powerful ***** from hell, and her behaviour made him feel empowered, and their relationship has gone from strength to strength.
So what am I saying to you? Simple, his relationship with his wife is over. You however I believe are a lot brighter than my ex''s new partner, and are questioning his actions, also there are children involved. If your relationship is going to last, I think you need to allow for the period of transition, it took my ex a year in reality, partly because I didn''t want to let go and was doing my utmost to get him to come back to me. Forget the solicitor, your suspicions are probably well founded about your partners attitude, but this will gradually lessen, as your importance in his life grows. So take a lesson from my ex''s new partner, be the sweet, slightly thick, darling mistress, who makes him feel wonderful and special ''Oh and wouldn''t it be fabulous to do this or that for Christmas'' if it works for you as it did for my ex''s ow, your partner will take the initiative, and you will find more and more money reaching your finances.
Does this sound cynical, perhaps because I can''t help it. However I no longer want my ex back, and so in a way I benefitted from being painted as such a baggage, much as I and those who know and care for me regard it as untrue and unfair. My husband betrayed me, he hurt me emotionally and financially but he is not a bad man, he just stopped loving me, and was at first attracted and then over time fell in love with someone else. I repeat though that there is a transition time between the old status quo to the new one. I hope this helps you in managing a difficult point in your new relationship.
