HOW did I become the enemy??

How did I become the enemy when I am NOT the one who has done anything wrong? This is a topsy turvy world and I am not able to come to terms with it. Just can''t make sense of any of it.

because they become so adept at putting all the blame on you,they are so determined not to look like the wrong doer.When he left me he actually told me that at work they let him go and have time out if he was upset!yeah all a ploy ,he left me for ow but he didn''t ,still doesnt want people to think it was his fault. His family have nothing to do with our daughter or me,his sister said she knew he was wrong but hes her brother so thats that.Rise above it after two years I know I don''t need him or them and sadly they have lost a granddaughter and niece.

I don''t know but I understand how you feel, apparently I''m making things difficult for him by being upset and unable to speak to him to sort things out so he can start his new life.

Oh ok then...

Stay strong you''ve done nothing wrong xxx

Hi
Its very common for history to be re-written in divorce so that the ''wrong'' party can shed blame and justify their actions.
Its far easier to do that than accept the fault in the situation, its all about transferring blame.

Unfortunately this is the world we live in, you''ve got to accept that he is going to tell lies that make you the enemy..it doesn''t make it hurt any less though, but you know the truth and you can hold your head up knowing that.

LB

Hi elizadoolittle,

You are not the enemy, never forget that, it is other''s lack of intelligence with your situation, that it is easier sometimes for them to bury their heads in the sand and listen to who shouts loudest, hoping all this fine mess will go away.

I spent 20 years with my STBX, we have 2 children together, I was the daughter my in-law''s never had, I had what I thought was a good set of friends whom I would have walked to China over hot coals for. My STBX had the affair(s), he broke into my home and stole our main assets, he wrote a very nasty letter to his own mother threatening her, he physically attacked my eldest child on the street, of which he has been in Court for.....and the list goes on, but yet he still manages to shout the loudest, like the Pied Piper, with an army of followers in tow, because he is the ''good time party man'', that is needed on the scene! Yet nobody has crossed my door to see how the children and I are, they have taken to the hills never to be seen again, and yet I am the villain in all of this.

It makes no sense elizadoolittle, but the re-writing of history, telling the world you were this and that so that his actions were justified, being the big I am, is more important to them. They do not like it when you stand up to them, if you do, who do you think you are, if you don''t look at how weak you are, just roll over and let them tickle your tummy...I think not!

Rise above it and take the high road, 3.5 years down the line I can see these people were never really my friends or family, they were just hangers on, people who meant little or nothing, it is common in divorce and separation.

Take care for now FoS x

Thanks everyone.
I wasn''t really thinking about what he says to other people, more about the way he treats me himself. Pathetic I know but I am still shocked and can''t adjust to the fact that he is working against my interests and that of the children when for all these years he seemed the devoted family man. And it''s not about the ow either. It''s all about him. I''m stunned.

Hi,

This isn''t my first post, I''ve had to change user name as people were peering over my shoulder.

Yes, I am in a similar situation, the stbx has blamed me for everything, turned our daughter against me and most of our so called friends meaning I am now one very isolated man. The upside is that I now know who my (few) friends are and some have surprised me!

Hang on in there!

GS