should his lifestyle be downgraded to support kids

Lou

Some people will never face up to their responsibilities in life and in the end, when they are old I am sure it will come back to them.

I have never received any child support for my daughter from her father and she is now 16. I am proud of her and she knows what I have done for her. I have a good family who support me (my brother takes her to work when I am away and my parents feed her and give her a lift home, etc).

My advice to you is this - accept he will never change, do your best for your kids. A bitter mother can do more damage than any lack of father. Stop thinking about what he has got and you haven't. I know you have had a hard time, but life throws these things at us and we come out stronger once we have been through them.

My son's father now does a lot of things with his gf and her kids. He does more with them than with our son. I decided that I will do things with my son and I will take him on holiday. I know otherwise he will not get these things. I have given up trying to get him to do more, it is a fruitless task. He has a new family and they come first. It is now up to me to give my son the best life as I have done with my daughter.

Architect Pete...and apparently not working at the mo although is director of 2 companies.
His words were "I've paid enough over the past 10 years"..mine were "we were a couple, we shared things, I worked too"...his words "tough, I'll provide for my kids when they visit me..end of".
Lou x

In my case, I feel if it was seen that the nrp was being fair on the children that no thought to their lifestyle would be given - which I think someone has already said?

In my case, The Git (my forum name for him, never in front of the children ) married the third fiance in the USA, and they celebrated their first wedding anniversary in Greece. They have countless weekends away and are forever going to the cinema.

When my 8 year old (he's now 11) asked for his father to sponsor him for a thing at school, he was told that as he (the father) didn't live with them it wasn't his place to provide anything for them - including sponsoring.

I seriously believe that in my case, the children are merely "a thing" of his past, that he does the minimum for to be seen to be doing it, but that he'd rather forget were there.

I don't have a problem, but with my lot being older (my eldest is 18), they've had this for the last six years.

I'm lucky, they're fantastic children and I like to thing that I'm highly skilled in reasoning all this through with them, so they think their father is still wonderful (mind you, harder now their older) and they're soon smiling again.

People say that in time he'll regret it - but I honestly don't think he will.

But yes. I do think that the 'other' parents lifestyle should be changed to provide for their children. But then you cannot make someone be responsible.

Well, I really feel sorry for you and understand why you are feeling the way you are.

You should not have been left without whilst ex is enjoying the high life with his new family and hope you persue this to the end - I would for the sake of the kids.

How galling to see his own kids with nothing whilst new family have everything. I believe you deserve more, but men have a seemingly easy way of deserting their first wives and kids and moving on to the next. They don't seem to have any morals in this case scenario.

We can only move on, but to feel bitter, in my opinion is justified.

hard to say but sod him!
i'm in a similar position and my kids will always know i do my very best!
A friend of mine divorced her multi millionaire husband and moved in a modest 3 bed semi. Her adult kids always adored thier mum, still do. And play the game with their dad! When one of them got married he blatently milked everything from his dad for the wedding (dad was as always buying his kids affection) and in the speaches praised his mother for all she had done.

I'm trying to say that kids ain't silly.
He will loose in the end

xx

My ex went s/e in January so is playing the CSA game of having to pay nothing until his accounts stabalise - has since got engaged in Bermuda, bought a new house and is having the garden landscaped at cost of £10k!!! Hard not to feel bitter when he isnt giving us a penny, very hard.

Tell the CSA about his lifestyle. Same happened to someone I know - PWC was living the Life of Riley, yet on benefits. The CSA issued fraud forms and that was the end of it - the father's CSA case was completely dismissed because he had no money and the PWC was loaded.