Child Support and Extras

Unfortunately the CSA is a blunt instrument that isn't always fair but that doesn't alter the fact that if a child lives with both parents each parent is responsible for feeding and caring for the children in "their" time even if the child is at school.

CSA is all you "have" to pay.
All you need to do is say no.

Saying "no" doesn't really get anywhere. What if the other parent takes the attitude that all they have to do is say "no" to paying for childcare and food when the child is living with you? To refuse to feed and care for children is neglect and ultimately justifies having the children taken out of your care.

Saying no doesn't achieve anything, I agree. I'm the parent with care and one of those who as the 'other' parent who does all he can to not pay. He says no - and I deal with it. (Hence just being in inverted commas)

I think this boils down to the relationship between the parents. In my experience.
If there is a good relationship and the NRP is willing to pay further contributions then thats all well and good.
Generally if there is animosity, little else is paid for, yes this does affect the kids.
In my case I just pay CM. For many reasons to me personaly, I know that if I had paid more, she would have not stopped wanting anyhow, but, most importantly because of her habits, the kids would have had no more spent on them, the money would have gone straight to smirnoff and benson and hedges, without a doubt.
Currently my kids do not have decent school shoes, my daughter has non. There are still as many vodka bottles in the recycle bag though. Also given my ex's past, its proven to me what would happen.

Back to my opinion, (sorry for rambling) the betetr the relationship, the more likely extra stuff is paid for, its down to that and what you are willign to pay for, never mind whether its fair or not, that wouldnt come into it if you wanted to.

This may be going off the thread a little but, as a PWC of a little imp that clearly sleeps with her feet in fertiliser, so fast does she grow, I actually find it far cheaper to provide her with a few decent school uniforms courtesy of Tesco and the school uniform shop than to have to buy her regular clothes for the whole of the year. She has 2 dresses, 2 t-shirts, 2 skirts and 2 cardies that we rotate. The whole lot, including school-logo cardies and book bags, shoes and a coat probably costs me in the region of £150 per year. Far cheaper than having to clothe her ecery day according to her latest fashion demands! (she is 6 by the way, a very difficult age!)
This might be a point worth making to your ex, or worth a trip to the shops to tot up actual costs of uniform Etc, versus the cost of 'regular' clothes and what the actual saving to her would be instead of how much extra you should give.

In my case, it's my Ex who regularly asks for extra money. She even sends my Son over (every other weekend) wearing worn out training shoes and gets him to ask me to buy some new ones - which of course he takes back to her house.

In addition, she demands I pay half of their extra school clubs etc.

Now I am happy to pay for the children but she gets a considerable amount of CM via the CSA. I hope I am not being crude by stating money values but she receives just under £1000 per month in CM. She has a substantial house bought out of the divorce capital (compared to my rented flat) and a live in boyfriend on a good salary.

Anyway, my point is, why doesn't the CSA ask for justification of what the CM is spent on? I have been lucky enough to get a pay rise which brought the CM from £800 to £1000 a month. The children have not had any better clothes, nor better food etc so I can only assume she has pocketed the extra cash.

If my Ex was to put the "rise" in CM into a savings account for their future education then I would be happy but the CSA said there was no mechanism for this and that she can choose to do what to do with the money.

When I pay my council tax, for example,I receive a breakdown of the costs and what has been spent. Why should my Ex be able to spend the CM on whatever she likes without any come-back?