What costs does Child maintenance cover?

It is with sadness that I write for advice as it may seem petty however we would rather base our decisions upon fact than emotion and with fact we can make an informed decision on how to proceed or come to an agreement.

The issue has come about as my parter and I use child maintainence in completely different ways.

In my case I use my child maintenance payments from my ex husband to cover everything, all clothes, after school childcare, uniform, extra curricular activities etc etc. This works well and if my ex partner choses to buy anything additional for our daughter that is his choice but not a necessity. He has the basics at his home that he has purchased ie a few spare pants, socks, tooth brush however I pack a bag for her everytime she is in his care and he sends everything back.

My partners ex wife has put to us that she believes that when the children are with the NRP they should have their own clothing in that house (purchased by NRP), that extra curricular activities should be paid for on the days when they are in the care of the NRP and that after school childcare should also be paid for on days of care of the NRP. This also includes school dinners on those days and the list goes on.

We have the children for 5 nights in a fortnight. My partner pays maintenance of 20% net income for the 2 boys reduced by the number of nights we have them per csa guidlines.

All parties work full time so childcare is a Mon-Fri every week.

Can anybody help with a defined list of what is or isn't covered by maintenance.

It would be great to have an official leaflet or website so that we can come to a mutual agreement

Thank you in anticipation of your help.

Hi
I tend to share your view of what CM should cover, but worth saying that this is a legal minimum and many NRPs contribute more than this.
It is a difficult one to answer, for example even in cases of 50:50 care CM is still payable by the NRP. Your partner's ex clearly wants to share the running costs of the children would she also be willing to share the child benefit and tax credits etc?

Childcare is tricky since you partners ex-wife may able to get a big chunk of that back via tax credits, it would seem reasonable to share the net cost of child care equally (cost-taxcredits divided by 2)


LB

Child support is a contribution towards all the costs of raising a child. There is a reduction in the amount of child support paid for overnight stays because the payer of maintenance covers the costs of the child when the child is with them.

Clothing can be a contentious and it really isn't worth getting into a battle over it because you can't win.

there is not a defined list.

I would say:

Clothes - it's fairly normal for a child to have some 'spares' at the contact parent's home, but normally I would expect the child to bring an overnight bag with them with what they need. It is reasonable for the NRP to do things such as washing school uniform over the weekend so the child can go back to school in it, clean, on Mondays.

Child Care - I think tax credits are a factor here - is mum claiming for a child care element, and if so, how much? if her claim takes into account the times the children go from the child minder to dad, then it is reasonable for her to cover those costs. If she can only claim for the days that the children are with her, then it isbn't unreasonable for dad to pay orthe time that the chuildren are beign cared for for his benefit, although equally if he can find alrternative child care, for instance via a family member, for those days, he should be free to do so.

After School Activities - I don't think it is unreasonable for dad to pay provided he has a say in what the children do. If mum signed them up without consultation then it is reasonable for her to meet the extra costs invovled. It would be sensible to try to discuss this with her before the next school term starts - prahps the parents could agree a budget for after scool activities for each child - if either wants to add extra activities over and above what is covered in the budget then they can take responsility for the extra costs

School Meals - I think it depends on what the contact arrangemetns are. If the children come to dad's after school and go home to sleep, I don't think it is reasonable for dad to be expected to pay for the school linch.

If they are with dad from Monday night to Wednesday morning, then it is not unreasonable for dad to pay for Tuesday's school lunch (or provide a packed lunch) just as he would provide a meal if child was at home that day. But it is up to dd as to whether he pays for a meal or send s the children with a packed lunch on 'his' days.

All that said, I think it's also valid to look at what financial position each parent is in. Child support and the CSA are very blunt instruments

Thank you for your help.

It's such a grey and contentious area.

I have surfed the net and cannot find anything.

Even the CSA have given us 2 diff answer from 2 diff people.

If the csa can work out a reasonable figure why does this not stipulate what it's for?

As there are no guidelines it causes tit for tat arguements - not very mature I'm sure you agree but as most people on this forum would agree divorce can breed unreasonableness and unkindness. A place we all thought we would never be but somehow end up making the mistakes we said we would never make! There has to be a line drawn somewhere or some clarity given?

We have my partmers children for 5 weeks of the holidays also, don't get me wrong I hope we don't sound mean as we buy the children everything they need, take them on holidays etc etc - but to me it seems ridiculous that we duplicate clothing items etc. Neither of us have a problem with paying maintenance they are our children and responsibility.

Are the kids supposed to have duplicate coats and we strip them down when we hand them over?

This mine and yours mentality breeds resentment. The only people to suffer are the kids which is so so sad.

I'm more than happy to wash clothing and send back and make packed lunches etc.

If expensive extra curricular activities occur like a school holiday we would of course consider contributing half as I would judge this as an 'additional cost' - but these 'additional costs' have to be on an agreed and reasonable basis otherwise everything can be termed an 'additional cost'or become luxuries.

We have offered to have the children for 50% of the time and then agreed we will cover all expenses when we have the kids however this offer has been firmly declined.

stuck in the middle

and without a formal guidance document I fear there will be one or other disgruntled party for the next 10 years!

Hi Hannah,

I think your post and the replies highlight the fact that it works where 2 parents can communicate and agree on things (As with you and your ex)

The issue, I feel, is not the 'defined list that CM covers' its lack of communication and negotiation between parents

You sound reasonable - keep plugging away

Take care

WR x

Sorry it's very easy to have forum conversations and forget people do not know you or the history in the case.

The reason the childcare has recently become an issue is because my partners ex wife used to work part time and beable to collect the children from school.

At the time the divorce was agreed etc it was assumed she would be working part time - this was considered in settlements - earnings, pensions, house etc etc

As soon a the divorce was agreed she started to work full time. So childcare has now appeared as a issue.